Simply stated, the ancient art form of feng shui is two-fold: welcoming beautiful energy into your life, and making it feel at home. When you walk into a space and feel an immediate sense of reverence — that’s feng shui. It’s powerful. And it’s communicated thru the language of metaphor, with our homes as metaphors for our (love) lives. If walls could talk, what would they say about your dating life?
As I continually refine my feng shui practice, subtlety reigns; more sensuality than suncatcher crystals. Chanel had it right when she declared, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take at least one thing off.” Apply this to interiors, for open space is vital when manifesting change. Fresh energy needs a place to rest. Single friends (or those looking to ramp up an existing relationship) contemplate on how much space you have in your life, and for the focus of this article, your bedroom. If you were a guest, would you feel comfortable? A potential partner needs to sense that you have space for them, in all ways.
I remember someone telling me to always sleep in your own guest room. Now that I’m dating again post-divorce, I lost the guest room but kept the adage, and apply it thru the lens of romance. When I invite a man over, I want him to relax, lounge and leisure with me, get grounded, and feel open enough to bare his soul. I set up my house to reinforce these desires. What are your relationship desires? As you apply the following steps, infuse your intentions into each action. In feng shui, the ‘cure’ and the intention work in delightful tandem.
How to use feng shui to activate your bedroom for dating in six easy steps:
- Place your bed in a power position.
‘Power position’ is a feng shui term for the most beneficial placement of a high-use piece of furniture. For a bed, a power position entails:
- a solid wall behind the headboard
- space to enter the bed from either side
- a clear view of the bedroom door, without being in line with the doorway
Basically, position yourself so that no one can sneak up behind you, and you can see who is coming into the room. Considering the energy flow in such a manner leads to a feeling of safety, which translates into a peaceful sleep. I’ve seen many a single sleeping with their bed pressed up against a wall. I ask them: “How is your lover supposed to get in and out? Over your sleeping body?” Not very considerate.
BONUS: Think fresh sheets for fresh action. Treat yourself to a new set of linens (or even pillowcases) for better juju. Red is the color of passion, purple of abundance and green of growth…
- Clean under your bed.
You are literally sleeping with anything you keep under your bed. Think about that. If you keep old shoes there, then you are sleeping with those shoes — and with all of the places they have walked, all of the dirt they have acquired. Tax records, sleeping with them. Winter clothes, sleeping with them. Whatever is under the bed becomes activated as a metaphor in your love life; likely not the threesome you fantasize about. Keep it clean and clear under the bed, for better sleep, sex and dreaming.
- Choose matching bedside tables.
Equality in a relationship is a beautiful goal. Set the mood for this equality to be revealed with matching bedside tables. Yes, it can be that simple! The tables should fit the look and scale of your bed. If a lamp is on one, a matching lamp should be on the other. For singles, I like to stack the deck by placing something symbolic on a future partner’s table: an empty notebook for the adventures you will write together or a book of erotic poetry. And how about your side? Every surface has the potential to be an incognito altar.
BONUS: Minimize electronics (EMFs) beside the bed for healthier sleep. Charge your phone somewhere else at night.
- Remove mirrors that directly face the bed.
Mirrors bounce around energy and double what they reflect. Struggling with insomnia, nightmares or infidelity? Take down the mirror(s) facing your bed, or cover at night if removal is not an option. Go mirrorless for a more harmonious environment.
- Create room in your closet.
Okay, so your dream lover is chilling in bed, leaning against that solid wall and reading you erotic poetry: but where will they hang their hat? If dreamy weekends together sound nice, give your guy or gal a place to hang up a few items. Keep a handful of empty wooden hangers in your closet. I promise you will smile when you see these hangers, picturing the stylish mate en route to you.
BONUS: Do the same in your medicine cabinet.
- To be in a couple, decorate in pairs.
Look around your room, art included, and look for themes. A few years back I kept meeting men with whom I would really connect, only to learn that they were in an open relationship. I checked out my house. Sets of three abound, which makes sense as a single mama with two sons. I remedied and the pattern stopped. As Aristotle stated, “the chief forms of beauty are order and symmetry.” Symmetry is pleasing to the eye, as well as to the heart. Add life with a pair of plants. Hang a painting of union. Get creative and embed happy twosomes around your bedroom.
To close, try this exercise with me to uncover your ‘Love Corner.’ Walk thru the doorway of your bedroom and go to the back right corner. What do you find here? Very telling! Love on this zone and place something symbolic here, or better yet, two somethings. But more on this in Feng Shui & Dating, Part Two: The Love Corner, coming soon.
Meghan Wallace James is a mother, manufacturing engineer, Parsons-trained fashion designer, stylist, and healer. She recently launched her feng shui consultancy and would be honored to partner with Vérité Woman readers.