Self love. Two words that we’ve found to be a hefty concept, but often elusive, just out of ones reach. Everyone wants to know how, we have the key! Well, actually you have the key too, you just don’t know it yet. We read philosophical texts, pulled from personal experience, and studied up — all to get deep into the root of the idea, What is self love? And further how do we teach it? Finally, we think we’ve got it, and we’ve packaged it up nicely to deliver to you just in time for the fresh canvas that is 2018.
We figured if we’re dealing with an idea that could vary from woman to woman, culture to culture we should introduce exactly our intentions with this whole self love thing, and what we would like to achieve: An uninterrupted peace. Think of the sound of an ethereal high-note being sung, if something interrupts the note’s trajectory it is no longer as beautiful, but if it meets its highest potential and holds there we are impressed, we lap up the sensory beauty. Even more-so, if many enchanting voices join in they do not take away from the first, it becomes a choir — overwhelming us with its brilliance. This is our goal for you! For us! For women! Uninterrupted confidence and self-worth, and soon when we all find it the female whole becomes this choir — stronger and more impactful together.
In our research we found a few key notes of repeating elements that spanned time periods and ideologies, at first glance they may seem simple enough but the truth is there’s nothing easy about self work. The first idea that we want you to take through all the rest is this: To find a true place in self love one must separate themselves from their physical self, their ego self, and their mental self.
The Physical Self:
We know this sounds like a drastic cutting of ties but allow us to explain:
As women we have felt wars against our bodies our whole lives. Whether you realize they impacted you or not. Each little bullet of suppression, sexism, and abuse is worn like invisible scaring on our flesh. They become beliefs in us: we aren’t attractive enough to feel love, we are only a trophy to be shown off, we are only worthy of being someone’s booty call. We often say we are manifesting a better life for ourselves, but while you wear those scars you will only attract more wounds. You are not your body. This is just a vessel you were given to achieve what you needed on this Earth, and to learn a few things along the way. Once you can separate yourself from the physical body that feels these battles against it you can be truly free.
The Ego Self:
Your ego self may be the most detrimental of them all. This is the part of us that keeps us down out of sheer pride. It doesn’t want you to love yourself because it wants you to stay curled up under the covers, safe, with a tub of ice cream – just you and Ego. It’s the self that won’t let you share a photo of your stretch marks on social media because it says “Ew, people don’t want to see that, the world says that’s not what beauty is.” We say tell Ego to fuck right off. Once you can separate yourself from the Ego that keeps you small you can be truly free.
The Mental Self:
This one’s tricky, because here at Vérité Woman we say your mind is your most important weapon, and it is! But that’s your well-fed, well-tended to mind. The mental self that you need to sever a relationship with is the one that spirals. The one that is constantly attaching itself to tiny scenarios and making them into Broadway plays. Once you realize you are not the mental part of you that can sabotage a good hair day in under three seconds, or control your self-worth with self-fulfilling prophecies you can truly be free.
What’s left you might wonder, now that we’ve taken away all the things you have, until now, thought to make up your identity.
Let us just preface this by saying we are in no way trying to define for you the meaning of The Soul in religious or spiritual terms, but this is how we have come to refer to our Other Self. This Soul is the purest form of you from birth, how you come into the world. This part of you is not yet affected by outside sources that we as humans are so malleable to — those that shape your ego, how you feel about your body, your insecurities. It still lives amongst your other selves and surfaces in times of pure inhibition. It is the highest goal to one day live in this state. The part of you that is not what you know, what you look like, or what you’ve become through pain and gain — it’s the part of you that laughs with a snort, stops at every other flower to take a photo, that sings without noticing while stuck in traffic — it’s the purest you. She possesses an uninterrupted peace.