How Never Falling In Love Showed One Writer Her Most Important Relationship.

How Never Falling In Love Showed One Writer Her Most Important Relationship., Anna Vatuone, How to be single, Self Love, How to love yourself, How to be happy when you're single, reasons to be single, how to get over a break up, life hack, life advice, love advice, personal story, feminism, intersectionality.
Art by Cristiane Spangsperg. Words by Anna Vatuone.

How Never Falling In Love Showed One Writer Her Most Important Relationship. I have seized an abundance of noteworthy experiences; traveled to many different countries, built lasting relationships with people from all over the world, and can truthfully say I’ve created a life I’m proud of and excited for. Though I can’t say falling in love has ever been on this list of treasures. When people talk of romance I know only so much, and I suppose it’s true one will never know an intimate sort of love until it’s felt. There have been many wonderful men who have walked into my life, many men who have thrilled me, even courted me, and have ultimately contributed to the ways in which I have grown and matured over the last 10 years. Though none whose names have been etched in my memory bank. I have been single for nearly nine years now.

When I let a detail like that slip, often times people look at me wide eyed. It’s not normal per say. Im 23. Certainly, I should’ve had a high school sweetheart, even a serious boyfriend through college, or even a more serious relationship after college. But no, it never quite happened that way. I come from a family of intellectuals, my brothers and I grew up discussing politics at the dinner table. We learned how to articulate what we felt and never to be ashamed of speaking our truth. I grew up with parents who encouraged me to think intellectually, they listened to my thoughts intently, and have further challenged those beliefs my entire life. It would make sense that I would desire a similar connection in my adult relationships. My hunger for deep and meaningful relationships is what propels everything I stand for. And because of this, I thrive and I also suffer.

How Never Falling In Love Showed One Writer Her Most Important Relationship., Anna Vatuone, How to be single, Self Love, How to love yourself, How to be happy when you're single, reasons to be single, how to get over a break up, life hack, life advice, love advice, personal story, feminism, intersectionality.

I have watched my best friends develop fulfilling relationships with men who adore them. I have counseled them, cried with them, rejoiced with them. There have been moments where I’ve wrestled with my own bitterness, days where I would’ve given anything just to feel what they felt, just to feel loved by a man who truly knew me. Part of me wonders if I’m missing the boat, if I’m gambling on a love that will never come. Have I set the bar too high? Have I shut out possibilities of significant relationships out of fear that they never could be? Though I can think of nothing more suffocating than being bound to a lukewarm relationship. I hold no grudges, no remorse, nor guilt; but I have no love songs to commemorate my name, and no lasting relationships to speak wistfully of.       

So, this is where my advice to you begins; nine years of the most fulfilling relationship I’ve ever had: the one with myself. How does one cope with solitude? Whether you’ve been single for many years, or just now exiting an existing relationship, there are many ways to brave the world of aloneness. It starts with one’s own natural disposition. You have to come from a place of love. I see it again and again; women who are afraid of being alone. Though how can anyone blame them when we live in a society that says singleness correlates with insufficiency? This is simply not true. On the contrary, singleness… can be one of the most extraordinary times of your life.

There is security in companionship. Humans have an unceasing thirst for intimacy; we look for connection in all areas of our lives, and we seek out those who we feel can fulfill those desires. So when romantic companionship is missing, we can feel empty, like something truly significant is ceasing to exist. Instead of pushing these feelings away, sit with them. You can have a longing in your heart, and still find a way to be satisfied and fulfilled in your life. There is no shame in wanting a partner, in seeking a life that has all the essential components connecting. The problem arises when you forgo possibilities in your present, when there is a fixation on something that isn’t there. I’ve learned to practice the art of contentment, but this is something you have to actively pursue. If we look close enough, we can see there are ways to feel content in solitude.

Singleness is a time that allows for growth and self-discovery apart from inhibition. I know myself in a way that is so intimately, and beautifully untouchable by anyone else. I’ve used this time of aloneness to wrestle with my deepest insecurities, vulnerabilities, and sorrow. Yet in these dark moments of truth, I’ve also seen parts of myself that are covered in goodness and in  grace. Over these last 9 years I have actively made the time to know myself; fully and unfiltered. Deep down I have known it couldn’t have been done with a partner. No, the edge have self discovery had to be done in only the company of myself.

I’ve learned that not only am I capable, I’m strong. I’ve learned how to care for myself in a way that’s holistically loving and nurturing. I’ve learned how to cheer myself up, and make room for healthy criticism where needed. Of course, there are days where I miss a man I’ve never known, where I desire the deep intimacy of a romantic relationship. Though I have found companionship in many corners of my life: in my love of writing, in my thirst for fellowship, in passion for my blog, in my excitement for travel; all these give me such joy and ask of me so much. I give myself to these passions and they love me back in a way that is endlessly fulfilling and produce such happiness and exhilaration. When I look at my life, when I step back and look down, I know I have been loved deeply through all of these.

There is a quote by Matt Kahn I’ve always liked. It goes like this, “Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you, as deeply as they’ve met themselves.” This is an invitation to heartily knowing oneself. My wish for you is an endless walk of self-love and discovery. May you sit quietly with yourself in moments of sorrow and in joy. Be truthful, ask questions, dig deeper. Whether you find yourself alone, or in relationship this season, make room for your own company. Just as we love and get to know others, you, yourself is asking of only the same. Meet yourself deeply.

This article was sent to us by the beautiful soul Anna Vatuone, find more of her writing here.

 

Share This:

Why Glossier’s Body Hero Will Actually Empower Your Shower Experience.


Why Glossier's Body Hero Will Actually Empower Your Shower Experience. NOW ON VERITE WOMAN --- Body Hero, Body Positive, Female Figure, Skincare, Hypoallergenic, Gynecologist tested, Emily Weiss, Paloma Elsesser, Swin Cash, Tyler Haney, Pia Arrobio, and Mekdes Mersha, Self love, how to be confidant, Instagram, Feminism. Let’s be honest, it was all about the hype. Glossier drops a new product, we flock. Yep, we’re talking about Glossier’s Body Hero. Only, once  we popped that bubbly pink packaging open we realized this is the kind of hype we can get behind. It felt like something special to be apart of. We’ve often wondered what’s in the magic sauce that catapulted the rose quartz (capital) G from cool-girl status to cult status. It all comes down to Glossier’s talent for shedding the layers, and getting to the flesh of what Millennial women truly want. Literally and metaphorically of course.

Maybe you haven’t stepped outside lately to be faced with a billboard, or scrolled through IG, or even used the internet and accidentally caught a banner ad in your peripherals. Glossier recently launched a campaign to accompany their latest body products, a frothy yet creamy yet oily body wash and lotion duo called Body Hero. The campaign featured lady-icons of the social media age in nothing but a state of nature.Why Glossier's Body Hero Will Actually Empower Your Shower Experience. NOW ON VERITE WOMAN --- Body Hero, Body Positive, Female Figure, Skincare, Hypoallergenic, Gynecologist tested, Emily Weiss, Paloma Elsesser, Swin Cash, Tyler Haney, Pia Arrobio, and Mekdes Mersha, Self love, how to be confidant, Instagram, Feminism. This is why our love for this product duo is two-fold. First it was banding together with our fellow sisters in the name of happy, healthy skin and a body-positive message. Then we hopped in our showers, lathered up, and realized that this product dup actually does what it promises. The reason it works so well? They yet again nailed the basics of what we truly want in our products:

The Daily Oil:

  • This body wash has got all our favorite oils such as coconut, sunflower seed (vitamin E, baby) and sesame that naturally soothes and plumps skin
  • The Daily Oil is gynecologist tested, and vagina approved!

The Perfecting Body Cream:

  • After your stint in the shower, this body cream locks in moisture that will stay with you all day
  • The cactus flower, yucca, and prickly pair extract is what makes this such a long lasting hydrator, regardless of environment
  • It leaves a velvety, never greasy finish

Along with the launch, each of the campaigns women posted to her social fronts, authentically sharing her own struggle with body love. In turn they reminded us that no woman (regardless of how many followers she might have on Instagram) is unscathed by the downers of body insecurities. It’s the prompt that every time we open our bathroom cabinet says “Be gentle with yourself.”

Why Glossier's Body Hero Will Actually Empower Your Shower Experience. NOW ON VERITE WOMAN --- Body Hero, Body Positive, Female Figure, Skincare, Hypoallergenic, Gynecologist tested, Emily Weiss, Paloma Elsesser, Swin Cash, Tyler Haney, Pia Arrobio, and Mekdes Mersha, Self love, how to be confidant, Instagram, Feminism. And A few of our other favorite Glossier products:

Moisturizing Moon Mask:

This hydrating mask really sets the bar high. Almost a daily ritual, for girls living in tough cities this will be your end of day retreat. It is so calming, and non-intrusive you lay it on and practically forget it’s there. The longer you leave it, the more it seems to reset dry skin breathing new life into tired pores. We’ve shared our love for honey as an ally of healthy looking skin, and it just happens to be one of the main ingredients in this product.

Boy Brow:

Perfecting the art of the brow. A game we all played for far too long, until Boy Brow hit the internet and we could all stop over-coiffing those above-eye-caterpillars. Boy brow is an everyday tool that will comb out those brows, add a little shape and shade while doing so. You’re left with a look that says laissez faire, when really it was Glossier.

Haloscope:

As die hard highlighters, this one takes the cake on glossy, glowy skin. Throw away those conturing tools, and make space for this stick to deliver a dew that quite literally finds your light for you. We’re super into Quartz for a rosé look.

Invisible Shield SPF:

If you’re an avid Vérité reader you know how important our SPF is. Glossier took their time to really scan the market for what worked, and what really didn’t only to turn around and create possibly the best SPF out there. That’s not just by our standards, it’s an internet favorite!

Share This:

Is This The Ultimate Secret To Body Positivity?

Is This The Ultimate Secret To Body Positivity? NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED -- How to have confidence, self love, body love, self esteem, health, nudity.It’s a ritual we’ve always been happy to take part in, yet never quite had a name for until stumbling across the enthralling documentary about the life of Betty Page — Betty Page Reveals All. As seemingly the Queen of all things #bodypositive, Page let us in on her little secret: Air Bathing. While not to be confused with the act of taking a bath en plein air, we are talkin’ a straight up hangout with just yourself, and your lady bits.
Why it works? Studies have shown spending more time with yourself in the nude familiarizes you with its entirety, and allows you to grow accustomed to, and maybe move past things that may have bothered you when only meeting them eye to eye in that unflattering photo that never left your psyche. You may also find solutions for the things that do resonate with you in a negative way, just by creating this communication with your figure. It is also a ritual of self-love, to give time that you may often forget to provide in your hectic everyday. Spend this time saying or thinking nice things towards your body. Admire it. Thank it for what it’s given you. As a team of practiced Air Bathers (mind you, not together), we can support the argument that it does in fact lead to a higher rate of confidence in our bodies and and happiness with our overall presence. Once you love your own form, you want to fight for it to be respected — we can’t think of anything more beautiful than this.

Is This The Ultimate Secret To Body Positivity? NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED -- How to have confidence, self love, body love, self esteem, health, nudity.

Our Guide to Air Bathing:
We often schedule in an Air Bathing sess. after a shower when we have set aside some time to chill. While our moisturizer soaks in and our hair is still twisted in its towel-turban, we light our favorite candles,  burn some palo santo ( cleanse away the bad feelings you might have toward your bod) and disconnect from all electronics. Make this your time to meditate, tidy your space, or pick up a good feminist read.
This ritual can be as long or short as you like, but we do suggest at very least 20 minutes, a few times weekly. That might sound indulgent for busy girls, but what’s more important than yourself?

Share This: