#VERITEWOMAN ADVICE: How To Survive The Holidays With Your Trump Supporting Fam

Advice: How To Survive The Holidays With Your Trump Supporting Fam | VERITE WOMAN, advice column, feminist community, girl gang, intersectionality, anti-trump, not my president, Hillary Clinton, republican, democrat, politics, family, Christmas, hanukkah.
We’re all getting ready to ship off to our respective holiday celebrations — we’re foreshadowing eggnog, ugly sweaters, and heated debates across the Christmas ham. The first installment of Femme Feed Advice comes from a pal of the site with this wing-dinger:

I’m headed home to see my conservative family for the holidays. It’s always a bit of butting heads on lifestyles but this year feels especially scary since they are Trump supporters and I am very vocal about not being one. Any advice you babes might have on staying sane, and ensuring no one gets dish wear to the head?

A great question indeed. We chose this topic to kick off our advice column because we figured there would be a whole slew of you also fearing just the same scenario. Truth is, it’s unavoidable, and I’m not a prime example in this department — I can’t help but take the subject very personally, often resulting in huffing and puffing my way out the front door. I turned to some trusted resources to bring you answers to keep the blood shed at bay. We took to a good ol’ group text to ask our girls with similar family dynamics how they manage to hold off a family meltdown.

Nida who’s spending Hanukkah with the Trump supporting men in her life suggests you set boundaries. “My advice is to embrace prayer. There’s no point in ruining a perfectly good evening and/or outfit over any asshole. It’s about time and place, and holiday parties are neither.” This means being vocal about what you do and don’t want to talk about is key. Explain that you still respect them regardless of their political beliefs, and you would like them to respect your right to remain festive. Another friend seconds this movement by saying “People are complicated. You’re not going to love every part of them. You love them in spite of their faults. Donald Trump is awful and scary man, but it doesn’t mean people who do find him appealing are bad people.”

“Invest in a weed pen and smoke out in the bathroom with your younger cousin,” says Mathilda. Her politically-inclined pops & co. can get a little heated, so bringing the relaxers to the mixer might just be your savior. While this sounds like off-beat advice we take it as more metaphorical. Keep things light hearted and chill — and when someone’s had too many hot toddies and leans in to talk international affairs just excuse yourself and find a quiet place to cool down. Removing yourself from the scenario momentarily can allow your mind to find ease, and let’s your family know you’re using your most adult moves to respect freedom of speech but not indulge. If that doesn’t work she suggests “Memorize Eminem’s rap bashing Trump and make a toast to recite it.”

A third confidant, Dani, suggests taking a very different approach. Break out the shot glasses and turn it into a night of drunk history! “Every time Trump comes up, Tequila!” Our guess is you’ll probably eventually forget what you were talking about in the first place. Overall just agree to have fun regardless of your personal beliefs. Take it up a notch and film the whole thing — it will bring you all closer to rewatch the slurry footage at next years family gathering.

Our final, and potentially best advice for you: Be the curiosity that didn’t kill the cat. Ask them questions that might help you understand where their beliefs might lie even if you don’t share them. Make sure you promise yourself to listen with your ears and not with your voice — and let them get it out. Even if you don’t agree at the end, they will appreciate your efforts to open the conversation and learn. You never know, they may just want to learn some things in return. Educate each other — chances are they love you, and just didn’t realize how it was affecting you personally. You are all individuals — you can’t control, or have expectations of one another — you’re only here to teach each other!

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Femme Feed | Why Women in Saudi Will Just Now Be Able to Drive

FEMME FEED | AN INSTALLATION OF “OF THE MOMENT”
STORIES FOR GIRLS IN THE KNOW.
Femme Feed | Why Women in Saudi Will Just Now Be Able to Drive, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Saudi Arabia, Islamic State, Women's rights, women in Islamic Culture, Hijab, Can Islamic Women Drive, News, Feminism, Manal al-Sharif, Government, Politics.
When you begin to scan the opening lines of this article you may think, “oh heavens, I’ve suffered a time warp.” Allow us to reassure you, you have not. Today, the 26th of September, 2017, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has finally lifted its laws on women’s driving privileges. As of this coming June, women in Saudi will be allowed to obtain drivers licenses.

The decision seems to have been made as somewhat of a PR move by a country hoping to redeem their reputation the world over. Due to the international pressure Saudi has received regarding the ban on women’s freedom to drive and its needy economy — women’s participation in the workplace will better their economical value. While the concept of having a chauffeur might sound just absolutely luxe to us, when it’s at the forfeit of your own independence it’s no longer a luxury but a prison cell on wheels. Women in Saudi are also not allowed to take public transportation or travel without a “guardian”. What is this chaperone you might ask? A male family member to first allow you, and then to escort you wherever you might want to go. This role can be filled by a brother, son, husband, or most frequently a father.

A little bit of background:

The history of the laws are rooted in what is called Wahhabism: a regression back to the purest form of Islamic culture which supports segregating genders in places like shopping malls, the veiling of women, and the illicit socializing of the sexes. The propaganda of women conforming to these laws runs deep, including commercials of young girls singing about how as females they are not made for driving but for keeping up the home. in 2013 Jamie Kucinskas, a teacher of religion and society at Indiana University told The Atlantic “The incident catalyzed a moral campaign meant to reinforce the feminine ideal of a pious, secluded wife and mother.”

Femme Feed | Why Women in Saudi Will Just Now Be Able to Drive, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Saudi Arabia, Islamic State, Women's rights, women in Islamic Culture, Hijab, Can Islamic Women Drive, News, Feminism, Manal al-Sharif, Government, Politics.
Image of Manal al-Sharif from Youtube, & National Geographic 1987

Back in 2011, female activist Manal al-Sharif posted a video on Youtube of herself driving a car. She claims the ban is “… a way to emancipate women…” and was arrested for this act. Women like Manal continue to speak up, and out, although at their own risk — the government does not take kindly to it. Manal was only freed due to international backlash.

It’s up to all of us:

Now, we don’t want to come off as mocking — any women’s movement success is shared by all of us, and Saudi’s female population is well-deserving of this triumph. The work of female activists to further women’s rights in the country have been tireless, and this step forward should be celebrated. The female population of this Islamic state are also forbidden from activities such as competing in sports unless they can wear their traditional dress, and swimming — there is still a long way to go for equality — but with the continual support from their sisters internationally we can further this fight along.

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Femme Feed | What You Need to Know About Trump’s Exit From The Paris Climate Agreement.

FEMME FEED | AN INSTALLATION OF “OF THE MOMENT”
STORIES FOR GIRLS IN THE KNOW.What You Need to Know About Trump's Exit From The Paris Climate Agreement. NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Obama, Trump, Leonardo DiCaprio, Elon Musk, Bernie Sanders, Paris Agreement, Climate Change, Global Warming, Obama Letter To Trump, Angela Merkel, Emmanuel Macron, Politics, Feminism, News.A few months back, we can recall a slip of naiveté — a time just before the election of the now President Trump when the world tried to justify the possibility. For a moment many of us thought: maybe Trump is trolling these Republicans, and if elected will funnel efforts in the right direction. The ultimate manipulation, something we knew he was capable of. Our way of trying to make things orderly in our minds. However, the months have passed and Trump’s efforts to dissemble everything Obama built (in an almost obsessive manner) continue. The latest? On Thursday June 1st, Trump announced the United States will exit The Paris Climate Agreement and the U.N.’s Green Climate Fund.

What does this even mean?

Let’s start by what it even is. The Paris Climate Agreement was established in 2015 with strong efforts by former Pres. Obama to join its 195 participating nations in a common goal to combat climate change. Amongst these efforts is the Green Climate Fund which invests into low-emission and climate-resilient developments.
In choosing to remove the U.S. from the fight against global warming Trump only pushes his personal beliefs further, at the expense of our earth — he has publicly denounced the issue many times including calling global warming a “Chinese hoax” and saying “I believe in clean air… I don’t believe in climate change.”
He removes a huge power player in monetary, and organized efforts to forward this agreement. This leaves us in a place where each individual must take clean initiatives into their own hands. Organizations, and businesses able to push progress in funding these programs must now take responsibility where the government has failed.What You Need to Know About Trump's Exit From The Paris Climate Agreement. NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Obama, Trump, Leonardo DiCaprio, Elon Musk, Bernie Sanders, Paris Agreement, Climate Change, Global Warming, Obama Letter To Trump, Angela Merkel, Emmanuel Macron, Politics, Feminism, News.

The backlash has already rippled through social media, and even Obama has released an open letter speaking to the detriment this exit will bring. Other leaders such as Justin Trudeau, and Angela Markel have also added their feelings towards the tension-filled move.  Further the new French President has extended an offer to leading American scientists, and  its public to continue to join them in working towards a solution. Trump doesn’t just ruin this for American’s, but for all nations involved.

The kicker?

This exit won’t take full effect until the year 2020 when Trump will be up for re-election. It looks to us as if he’s already planting seeds he hopes will satiate his next campaign’s support from like-minded individuals.

What we can do…

Individually we can help fight back. We’ve all heard it before, but now more than ever it’s time to trade in accessibility for action. The biggest ways to aid are things like taking public transit, biking, or walking instead of driving. Car-pooling (hey, Uber and Lyft) can also help you do your part. Mainly we must not forget: His own ignorance is only going to harm us now. Further, educating ourselves – as always – is the first step to creating change!

 

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Femme Feed | Size Matters, Facts Don’t: A Look at Trump’s First Speech & Why Its Details Are So Important!

FEMME FEED | AN INSTALLATION OF “OF THE MOMENT”
STORIES FOR GIRLS IN THE KNOW.

Femme Feed | Size Matters, Facts Don’t: A Look at Trump’s First Speech & Why Its Details Are So Important! -- Verite Published --- Donald Trump, America, Politics, Women's Interests, Facts about Trump, Trump's First Speech, World Issues, Feminism.
Words by Contributing Politics Editor Debra Trevino.

Donald Trump is President. The man, who during his campaign, insulted Mexicans, Muslims, Women, and the Disabled — just to name a few — currently holds the highest office in the land. A look at Trump’s first speech & why its details are so important!

Friends I know (or thought I knew) — reassured me that they didn’t vote for the man per se, but for the conservative party he represents now. A pro-lifer felt it was her Christian duty to vote for a man who would end abortion by appointing an anti-abortion Supreme Court nominee who would eventually end Roe V. Wade, and that, above everything else, justified her vote for him.

She and other Trump supporters told me not to take him literally on some of the ‘pussy grabbing’ and other controversial statements he would throw out at rallies or said on tape years ago, because that’s not what he represents.

Okay, let’s see what the ex-campaigner, now President, Trump’s first few weeks of actions say about him and his new administration, starting with his first words as President:

The ‘Only America First’ inauguration speech: Setting The Tone

Trump’s speech starts off strong by thanking ‘Chief Justice Roberts, President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans, and people of the world’ – so basically he thanks everyone. Great, this is good; maybe he can really put all that political mudslinging behind him and really unite America!

But that lasts only 15 seconds.

He then goes on to blast the government (sitting behind him), as having ‘reaped the rewards while the people have born the cost’, lamenting how ‘the rusted out factories’ closed, scattered like tombstones across the nation’.  How the ‘establishment protected itself,’ and how horrible it is that our ‘mothers and children [are] trapped in poverty in our inner cities, the very sad depletion of our military’, and how ‘America’s infrastructure has fallen into disrepair and decay.’

By painting this awful landscape of America, he vows to, then, of course, ‘Make America Great Again’, which the audience eats up. I get it; who doesn’t want their personal struggles to be heard, their bank accounts full, their jobs secure, to feel safe, to have an easy enemy to blame for their problems?

If you already see him as your savior, he can do no wrong in your eyes. He’s the answer you’ve been looking for. If he’s a bad guy, then you’re a bad guy for voting for him. You can’t believe that, so now you have to believe everything he says and does. And that’s where denial digs deep, becoming particularly insidious.

Because he’s got you now – hook, line, and sinker.
Femme Feed | Size Matters, Facts Don’t: A Look at Trump’s First Speech & Why Its Details Are So Important! -- Verite Published --- Donald Trump, America, Politics, Women's Interests, Facts about Trump, Trump's First Speech, World Issues, Feminism.Anyone else that disagrees with him or his administration – the press, protesters, acting attorney generals, etc. – are now the enemy. And they aren’t just his personal enemies, but enemies of America and democracy, itself!

“From this moment on, it’s going to be only America First.”

Trump ad-libbed the ‘only’ in his pre-written speech co-written by white nationalist and chief strategist Steve Bannon and senior adviser Stephen Miller. This is an important distinction. ‘Only America first’, basically means, too hell with the rest of the world.  We’re better than you.

This sentiment was not only mirrored but exacerbated a few days later when Trump’s newly appointed Ambassador to the UN, Nikki Haley, made a statement at the UN headquarters:  “For those that don’t have our back, we’re taking names, we will make points to respond to that accordingly.”

‘Taking names’? This is the United Nations we’re talking about here. She’s an ambassador. Her job is to be diplomatic and co-operate with the rest of the world to solve crises in order to prevent another World War from happening again. World peacekeepers don’t ‘take names’, threaten, order other countries around, or have the authority to do so in this organization.

So what are we to make of this tone setting? A tone of doom and gloom and only one person who you can trust implicitly to save you, despite facts to the contrary?

Pay attention. Tone matters. Words matter. Facts matter.

History matters.

Connect the dots when you see them. Be vigilant. Trust your own eyes and ears because they will and have already begun to lie to us

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Femme Feed: Everything You Need To Know About What Went Down at The First Presidential Debate

Everything You Need To Know About What Went Down at The First Presidential Debate --- Verite PublishedThe first of this year’s presidential debates kicked off last night, and armed with wine, we watched (no, cringed) our way through a lot of side-eyes and finger pointing from the Candidates. We are here this morning to break down exactly what went on last night for those of you who either didn’t tune in, or are still scratching their heads wondering if that got us anywhere…

Mo Money Mo Problems

The economy was a hot topic at last night’s debate, and while Hillary Clinton had some zingers like coining the phrase “Trumped up, and trickle down” in reference to Donald’s plans for the economy, he in return seemed to be confused about the question. He reverted back to Trump-as-business-expert talking about his own, threw some shade at Hillary for “telling us how to fight Isis on her website” (off topic?), and then concluded with the fact that we must stop letting other countries steal our jobs. Hillary helped try to shed some light on the topic for Big T, saying maybe he was confused because he’s never paid any income tax. Her focus stayed on equal pay between genders, and profit share.

Go For Your Guns

The candidates had a good chat about how they promise to secure America, and it went a lot like this: Hillary threatens hackers, Trump wants to bring back the stop-and-frisk, Hillary wants black communities and law enforcement to reconcile their differences. Trump was also not ready to drop his whole Hillary/ Isis conspiracy.

What A Time To Be Alive

The future of America was also a big topic, when candidates weren’t straying into broken record areas like the Obama birth conspiracy which was recently put to rest. Trump also shared that he allows black communities to hold membership at his golf club in Florida, and patted himself on the back for it, as if it were some kind of progressive achievement.

B*tches Ain’t Shit but Hoe’s & Tricks

Hillary got to have a little satisfaction when she looked Donald in the eye and ran off his laundry list of misogynistic moments. He fumbled around trying to say they were out of context, but still looked like a jerk when he resurrected the whole Rosie O’Donell subject, and still couldn’t muster anything nice to say after all this time.

0 to 100 Real Quick / The Catch Up

Overall, we don’t think last night was really a trophy winner for either of the candidates, though when DT accused Clinton for not going on press tours, she got to fight back with the fact that she was busy being razor focused on these debates — “I prepared to be president”. Mic drop. The real issue that last night highlighted was the incessant gas lighting from Trump towards Hillary that he just can’t seem to shake. What stuck with us the most was when Trump accused Hillary’s ads of “not being very nice” towards him. It only underlined the issue further that while male candidates seem to have free reign to be ruthless, female candidates are supposed to act ‘lady-like’. We doubt you would see a bunch of male candidates whining that they were hurting each others feelings on debate day. Trump’s only weapon so far to combat Big Hill seems to be tugging on the innate sexism of so many of his supporters, rallying them up against her by pointing out the ways she has faltered at ‘being a women’. As we come so close to having a female leader, we can’t help but hang on to the fact that although sometimes well masked, the gender slant is alive and well behind the podium.

 

 

 

 

 

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