Now that you’ve been introduced to the most important layer of the self-love journey, we want to give you some tools to implement, that will help turn this elusive concept into a habit: Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love! This isn’t an easy out of insecurities, it’s still hard work but from what we’ve found they will set you on the right path. Get ready to free yourself from self-doubt.
The inside encompasses the ego and mental selves (if you haven’t read our last post, be sure to do that first) — this is who you believe yourself to be on the inside, what makes up your personality and rules your belief system.
- Take charge of your thoughts. Open up the notes in your phone and make a list. Define a being that you could love. Define a being that you believe is beauty. Not by cultures standards, but by your personal standards. For example, your mother is a force to be reckoned with, her large presence and unwavering stance has always been admirable to you — put it on the list. This list will be your touch base whenever you feel unsure in yourself. That’s why it should be kept on your phone, so you can get to it in dire times.
- Speak to your body as if it were someone you love — gently, reassuring, pulling out its best attributes to remind it how beautiful and powerful it really is.
- Make a list of gratitudes. This is one we at Vérité Woman can testify to its powers to heal. When you’re feeling a surge of insecurities about your self worth, ability to achieve, or attract love whip out a journal or your phone notes and make a list of all of the things that you love about who you are (a very important step to meditate on), things you made happen (big or small) that make you happy, and things you have attracted: got that job you wanted, made amazing friends that you love and look up to, most importantly gratitude for the beautiful life you’ve built yourself. This list will immediately make you glow, and put into perspective that your good energy and high-level of worth made these wonderful things come to fruition.
- Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Social media is one of, if not the largest source of feeling inadequate in our modern day. We allow this tool that is meant to be a source of inspiration to be a source of pure mental plague. Unfollow all the accounts that do not serve you, or the people who make you feel lesser — it’s not thinspiration, it’s sickness. This makes room for accounts and people that leave you happier and more whole.
- Forgive yourself! We hate when others teaching self-love say “accept who you are” because we believe you are always changing, growing, learning in an upward trajectory. However, instead we say forgive yourself — it’s too much weight to carry around the guilt you feel from past actions, or the bruises you dolled out from being too hard on yourself. When you’re feeling these pasts plaguing you just repeat I forgive you as your mantra until it passes. But most importantly while you say these words to yourself meditate on believing them. With habit, the words will become reality.
These tools address your physical self —that body that has taken so much abuse from others and yourself.
- Treat your body like it belongs to someone you love. Romance it, pamper it — face masks may not be the key to self-care but the action of caring for works wonders. Act like your body is a relationship you are in and have to consistently cultivate, because guess what, you do.
- Find beauty in who you are — This should be apart of your Gratitude List (see above). Describe in depth the force in your curves that demand attention, the clarity of your eyes that see the best in people. You can choose to keep this in the same place as your gratitude list, and your list of defining beauty traits to reference when needed.
- Self portraiture. This, for some might be the most difficult step in this process — so many feel a veil of shyness hide their true charisma once a camera focuses on them. When you’re all by yourself set up a camera, the self timer on your phone, or even just go to selfie mode. Spend time documenting what you look like when it’s just you. Document varying emotions if you want to take the project that far — when you have tears running down your face, when you are smiling at the camera, when you feel sexiest. Take hundreds if you have to. It may sound like a whole bunch of time wasted on vanity, but in fact it is a wonderful healing exercise into seeing yourself from an outside view. Look at these photos as if you are a stranger finding splendor in this confident woman. Soon you will start to believe in her, and become her.