Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love.

Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love. | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love.Now that you’ve been introduced to the most important layer of the self-love journey, we want to give you some tools to implement, that will help turn this elusive concept into a habit: Our Tried and True Practices for Finding and Sustaining Self Love! This isn’t an easy out of insecurities, it’s still hard work but from what we’ve found they will set you on the right path. Get ready to free yourself from self-doubt.

Inside:
The inside encompasses the ego and mental selves (if you haven’t read our last post, be sure to do that first) — this is who you believe yourself to be on the inside, what makes up your personality and rules your belief system.

  1. Take charge of your thoughts. Open up the notes in your phone and make a list. Define a being that you could love. Define a being that you believe is beauty. Not by cultures standards, but by your personal standards. For example, your mother is a force to be reckoned with, her large presence and unwavering stance has always been admirable to you — put it on the list. This list will be your touch base whenever you feel unsure in yourself. That’s why it should be kept on your phone, so you can get to it in dire times.
  2. Speak to your body as if it were someone you love — gently, reassuring, pulling out its best attributes to remind it how beautiful and powerful it really is.
  3. Make a list of gratitudes. This is one we at Vérité Woman can testify to its powers to heal. When you’re feeling a surge of insecurities about your self worth, ability to achieve, or attract love whip out a journal or your phone notes and make a list of all of the things that you love about who you are (a very important step to meditate on), things you made happen (big or small) that make you happy, and things you have attracted: got that job you wanted, made amazing friends that you love and look up to, most importantly gratitude for the beautiful life you’ve built yourself. This list will immediately make you glow, and put into perspective that your good energy and high-level of worth made these wonderful things come to fruition.
  4. Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Social media is one of, if not the largest source of feeling inadequate in our modern day. We allow this tool that is meant to be a source of inspiration to be a source of pure mental plague. Unfollow all the accounts that do not serve you, or the people who make you feel lesser — it’s not thinspiration, it’s sickness. This makes room for accounts and people that leave you happier and more whole.
  5. Forgive yourself! We hate when others teaching self-love say “accept who you are” because we believe you are always changing, growing, learning in an upward trajectory. However, instead we say forgive yourself — it’s too much weight to carry around the guilt you feel from past actions, or the bruises you dolled out from being too hard on yourself. When you’re feeling these pasts plaguing you just repeat I forgive you as your mantra until it passes. But most importantly while you say these words to yourself meditate on believing them. With habit, the words will become reality.

Outside:
These tools address your physical self —that body that has taken so much abuse from others and yourself.

  1. Treat your body like it belongs to someone you love. Romance it, pamper it — face masks may not be the key to self-care but the action of caring for works wonders. Act like your body is a relationship you are in and have to consistently cultivate, because guess what, you do.
  2. Find beauty in who you are — This should be apart of your Gratitude List (see above). Describe in depth the force in your curves that demand attention, the clarity of your eyes that see the best in people. You can choose to keep this in the same place as your gratitude list, and your list of defining beauty traits to reference when needed.
  3. Self portraiture. This, for some might be the most difficult step in this process — so many feel a veil of shyness hide their true charisma once a camera focuses on them. When you’re all by yourself set up a camera, the self timer on your phone, or even just go to selfie mode. Spend time documenting what you look like when it’s just you. Document varying emotions if you want to take the project that far — when you have tears running down your face, when you are smiling at the camera, when you feel sexiest. Take hundreds if you have to. It may sound like a whole bunch of time wasted on vanity, but in fact it is a wonderful healing exercise into seeing yourself from an outside view. Look at these photos as if you are a stranger finding splendor in this confident woman. Soon you will start to believe in her, and become her.

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Unlocking Self Love: Everyone Wants Know How, We Have Key!

Unlocking Self Love: Everyone Wants To Know How, And We Have The Key! | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love, spirituality, feminism.Self love. Two words that we’ve found to be a hefty concept, but often elusive, just out of ones reach. Everyone wants to know how, we have the key! Well, actually you have the key too, you just don’t know it yet. We read philosophical texts, pulled from personal experience, and studied up — all to get deep into the root of the idea, What is self love? And further how do we teach it? Finally, we think we’ve got it, and we’ve packaged it up nicely to deliver to you just in time for the fresh canvas that is 2018.
We figured if we’re dealing with an idea that could vary from woman to woman, culture to culture we should introduce exactly our intentions with this whole self love thing, and what we would like to achieve: An uninterrupted peace. Think of the sound of an ethereal high-note being sung, if something interrupts the note’s trajectory it is no longer as beautiful, but if it meets its highest potential and holds there we are impressed, we lap up the sensory beauty. Even more-so, if many enchanting voices join in they do not take away from the first, it becomes a choir — overwhelming us with its brilliance. This is our goal for you! For us! For women! Uninterrupted confidence and self-worth, and soon when we all find it the female whole becomes this choir — stronger and more impactful together.
In our research we found a few key notes of repeating elements that spanned time periods and ideologies, at first glance they may seem simple enough but the truth is there’s nothing easy about self work. The first idea that we want you to take through all the rest is this: To find a true place in self love one must separate themselves from their physical self, their ego self, and their mental self.

Unlocking Self Love: Everyone Wants To Know How, And We Have The Key! | Now on VERITE WOMAN, how to learn self love, how to have confidence, how to feel good about yourself, how to stop being depressed, how to have confidence at work, how to have confidence in relationships, how to manifest love, spirituality, feminism.The Physical Self:
We know this sounds like a drastic cutting of ties but allow us to explain:
As women we have felt wars against our bodies our whole lives. Whether you realize they impacted you or not. Each little bullet of suppression, sexism, and abuse is worn like invisible scaring on our flesh. They become beliefs in us: we aren’t attractive enough to feel love, we are only a trophy to be shown off, we are only worthy of being someone’s booty call. We often say we are manifesting a better life for ourselves, but while you wear those scars you will only attract more wounds. You are not your body. This is just a vessel you were given to achieve what you needed on this Earth, and to learn a few things along the way. Once you can separate yourself from the physical body that feels these battles against it you can be truly free.

The Ego Self:
Your ego self may be the most detrimental of them all. This is the part of us that keeps us down out of sheer pride. It doesn’t want you to love yourself because it wants you to stay curled up under the covers, safe, with a tub of ice cream – just you and Ego. It’s the self that won’t let you share a photo of your stretch marks on social media because it says “Ew, people don’t want to see that, the world says that’s not what beauty is.” We say tell Ego to fuck right off. Once you can separate yourself from the Ego that keeps you small you can be truly free.

The Mental Self:
This one’s tricky, because here at Vérité Woman we say your mind is your most important weapon, and it is! But that’s your well-fed, well-tended to mind. The mental self that you need to sever a relationship with is the one that spirals. The one that is constantly attaching itself to tiny scenarios and making them into Broadway plays. Once you realize you are not the mental part of you that can sabotage a good hair day in under three seconds, or control your self-worth with self-fulfilling prophecies you can truly be free.
What’s left you might wonder, now that we’ve taken away all the things you have, until now, thought to make up your identity.

The Soul:
Let us just preface this by saying we are in no way trying to define for you the meaning of The Soul in religious or spiritual terms, but this is how we have come to refer to our Other Self. This Soul is the purest form of you from birth, how you come into the world. This part of you is not yet affected by outside sources that we as humans are so malleable to — those that shape your ego, how you feel about your body, your insecurities. It still lives amongst your other selves and surfaces in times of pure inhibition. It is the highest goal to one day live in this state. The part of you that is not what you know, what you look like, or what you’ve become through pain and gain — it’s the part of you that laughs with a snort, stops at every other flower to take a photo, that sings without noticing while stuck in traffic — it’s the purest you. She possesses an uninterrupted peace.

Find our tried and true practices for finding and sustaining this self love here.

 

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Art, Heartbreak, & How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee!

Art, Heartbreak, & How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee! NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Aleksandra Zee, Oakland, San Francisco, Artist, Woodworker, Female entrepreneur, Blonde, desert, photography, VSCO, California, Model, Americana, Style, Neutrals, how to love yourself, compassion, strength, feminism, how to have confidence, social media, instagram.
A rolling wave of blonde hair, a vast landscape ahead that looks as if it could engulf her at any moment — suck her back into its center. It doesn’t though, there’s always a strength to her, rooting her feet on the rock she stands atop. Woodworker Aleksandra Zee may be known to you from her dreamy, golden hued virtual postcards, and entrancing works of art that will make you stop in your tracks mid-Instagram scroll. She’s not just her online representation though, as any woman she is thick with dynamics, journeys, insights. Fearlessly, she shares snippets of these with us through her captions — using the social media platform to as a way of saying “Hey! I’m in this with you.” — however today we get very real with the talented woman on her art, heartbreak, & how to deeply love yourself!
 Art, Heartbreak, & How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee! NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Aleksandra Zee, Oakland, San Francisco, Artist, Woodworker, Female entrepreneur, Blonde, desert, photography, VSCO, California, Model, Americana, Style, Neutrals, how to love yourself, compassion, strength, feminism, how to have confidence, social media, instagram.
V: What was your first experience with woodworking? Was it love at first bandsaw?
AZ: My frist experience with woodworking was just a bit in college, making frames and things but nothing much. My first job out of college was at Anthropologie as a Display Artist and so much of it was learn as you go. When I fully started building things I fell in love! Working with wood, being in a shop, I knew it was what I wanted to do and instantly started planning how to make it on my own.
V: What were you doing before you were able to go full time with your creative passions?
AZ: I decided to leave Anthropologie after about three years and knew that for me, having a boss and working/making for someone else was not for me. I needed to make art for myself and put it out there. So I stated small, working as a waitress for just about three years as I built my business. Working days in my humble little shops and nights at a restaurant. I remember the day I quit waiting tables like it was yesterday. I was serving a few girlfriends some margaritas and they asked me why I was still working there, that I was so busy in the shop and didn’t need to keep the side hustle. So I set down their drinks and went up to my manager and told her I would rather be in my studio, and she said yes please go and come back if you ever need to. It felt amazing and scary and crazy and so freeing. It has been a little over three years since that moment and each day has gotten better and more amazing working for myself. It’s hard ass work, and it never stops, but there is nothing else I would rather do.

Art, Heartbreak, & How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee! NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Aleksandra Zee, Oakland, San Francisco, Artist, Woodworker, Female entrepreneur, Blonde, desert, photography, VSCO, California, Model, Americana, Style, Neutrals, how to love yourself, compassion, strength, feminism, how to have confidence, social media, instagram.

V: You are so wonderfully transparent about the journey a woman takes to come into her own via your social media. Did it ever scare you to be so open?
AZ: At first it was scary, the opinions of others would deeply effect me. When the negative came it would hurt and hold me back. It took a while to grow my thick skin and learn to meditated on the fact that others options of me don’t matter, and they never will. I am responsible for my own energy and my own confidence and happiness. None of that belongs to anyone else. Being committed to openness and vulnerability is something that is so important to me and loving myself though it is so important.
V: Let’s talk about self-love — what life experiences have forced you to come face-to-face with who you are as a woman, and who you want to be?
AZ: This is for sure a loaded question. There are so many experiences that have made me face myself with exactly who I am and who I want to continue to grow into. I grew up with a troubled mother, substance abuse consumed her life and outside of the care my father gave I helped raise my younger sister. That forced me to tap into my nurturing and fierce side at a super young age. Later in life I chose a career that is predominantly male and finding my strong and also feminine (which is powerful and not weak) voice. I felt like I was re-writing what it meant to be feminine for myself. That being a woman didn’t make me weaker but stronger, and promoting that strength in a non competitive and graceful way. About two years ago I lost my mother, and that was a huge face-to-face moment with myself. I needed to strip myself of everything I held onto, the thick skin that I let grow a little too thick and re-open myself to a life of pure vulnerability, not holding myself back because of fears, accepting every bit of who I am and the strength there is in being open.

Art, Heartbreak, & How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee! NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Aleksandra Zee, Oakland, San Francisco, Artist, Woodworker, Female entrepreneur, Blonde, desert, photography, VSCO, California, Model, Americana, Style, Neutrals, how to love yourself, compassion, strength, feminism, how to have confidence, social media, instagram.Art, Heartbreak, & How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee! NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Aleksandra Zee, Oakland, San Francisco, Artist, Woodworker, Female entrepreneur, Blonde, desert, photography, VSCO, California, Model, Americana, Style, Neutrals, how to love yourself, compassion, strength, feminism, how to have confidence, social media, instagram.

V: What is the most painful part of your journey in self-study?
AZ: Growing pains happen because you are making new room for the growth that is happening within. A big part of dealing whit what hurts is self acceptance. That you control your happiness, your confidence, your state of mind. Rising above what breaks your heart and accepting that it takes time. Life is full of heartbreak and how you move though the muck is what gives you the information and wisdom to hurdle the next. It hurts to lose a love, lose a family member, have your business take an unexpected turn, but all of those things happen to show the path before you and the choice you have to hit the ground running. So for me, my heartbreaks and pain that I have lived though are maps and footprints in the path I have chosen, I wouldn’t change it, I love where I have been and where it is shaping me to move forward into.Art, Heartbreak, & How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee! NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Aleksandra Zee, Oakland, San Francisco, Artist, Woodworker, Female entrepreneur, Blonde, desert, photography, VSCO, California, Model, Americana, Style, Neutrals, how to love yourself, compassion, strength, feminism, how to have confidence, social media, instagram.
V: I think every woman learns to be gentle with themselves in different ways — I do this thing where I literally talk to my body in times of stress or trauma. Is there a way you’ve learned to be gentle with yourself that helps you deal with trials of the everyday?
AZ: I do he same, I speak positivity to my body, acknowledge the air filling my lungs in each deep breath, wiggle my toes and feel my feet planted on the earth holding up my body. Finding completely presence within my mind and physical body, reminds me that I am alive, I need to check in, and care for myself. It is the easiest way to get my mind bad n track, those sick couple minutes of acknowledging yourself.
V: I’m so glad I’m not the only one that does that! How do you see yourself through your own eyes?

AZ: When I look in the mirror I see strength, I see grace and I see growth. I am always changing, and allowing for that growth is acceptance. I meet myself with an open heart.

Art, Heartbreak, a& How To Deeply Love Yourself With Woodworker Aleksandra Zee! NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Aleksandra Zee, Oakland, San Francisco, Artist, Woodworker, Female entrepreneur, Blonde, desert, photography, VSCO, California, Model, Americana, Style, Neutrals, how to love yourself, compassion, strength, feminism, how to have confidence, social media, instagram.

V: If you could send one message to young women everywhere what would it be?

AZ: Be fearlessly yourself. No one is you, YOU are you. There is strength in being a woman that should never hold you back from doing exactly what you want to.
V: Three books that have changed your life?
AZ: The Little Prince, currently Reading The Alchemist and it is so so so beautiful, and Just Kids.
V:  When do you feel most yourself?
AZ: I feel most myself when I am creating or when I am out in nature. Free and open, tapped into my soul.
photo credits, from top to bottom: Nikki Ormerod, Antrom Kury, Gillian Walsworth.

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