#VERITEWOMAN ADVICE: How To Survive The Holidays With Your Trump Supporting Fam

Advice: How To Survive The Holidays With Your Trump Supporting Fam | VERITE WOMAN, advice column, feminist community, girl gang, intersectionality, anti-trump, not my president, Hillary Clinton, republican, democrat, politics, family, Christmas, hanukkah.
We’re all getting ready to ship off to our respective holiday celebrations — we’re foreshadowing eggnog, ugly sweaters, and heated debates across the Christmas ham. The first installment of Femme Feed Advice comes from a pal of the site with this wing-dinger:

I’m headed home to see my conservative family for the holidays. It’s always a bit of butting heads on lifestyles but this year feels especially scary since they are Trump supporters and I am very vocal about not being one. Any advice you babes might have on staying sane, and ensuring no one gets dish wear to the head?

A great question indeed. We chose this topic to kick off our advice column because we figured there would be a whole slew of you also fearing just the same scenario. Truth is, it’s unavoidable, and I’m not a prime example in this department — I can’t help but take the subject very personally, often resulting in huffing and puffing my way out the front door. I turned to some trusted resources to bring you answers to keep the blood shed at bay. We took to a good ol’ group text to ask our girls with similar family dynamics how they manage to hold off a family meltdown.

Nida who’s spending Hanukkah with the Trump supporting men in her life suggests you set boundaries. “My advice is to embrace prayer. There’s no point in ruining a perfectly good evening and/or outfit over any asshole. It’s about time and place, and holiday parties are neither.” This means being vocal about what you do and don’t want to talk about is key. Explain that you still respect them regardless of their political beliefs, and you would like them to respect your right to remain festive. Another friend seconds this movement by saying “People are complicated. You’re not going to love every part of them. You love them in spite of their faults. Donald Trump is awful and scary man, but it doesn’t mean people who do find him appealing are bad people.”

“Invest in a weed pen and smoke out in the bathroom with your younger cousin,” says Mathilda. Her politically-inclined pops & co. can get a little heated, so bringing the relaxers to the mixer might just be your savior. While this sounds like off-beat advice we take it as more metaphorical. Keep things light hearted and chill — and when someone’s had too many hot toddies and leans in to talk international affairs just excuse yourself and find a quiet place to cool down. Removing yourself from the scenario momentarily can allow your mind to find ease, and let’s your family know you’re using your most adult moves to respect freedom of speech but not indulge. If that doesn’t work she suggests “Memorize Eminem’s rap bashing Trump and make a toast to recite it.”

A third confidant, Dani, suggests taking a very different approach. Break out the shot glasses and turn it into a night of drunk history! “Every time Trump comes up, Tequila!” Our guess is you’ll probably eventually forget what you were talking about in the first place. Overall just agree to have fun regardless of your personal beliefs. Take it up a notch and film the whole thing — it will bring you all closer to rewatch the slurry footage at next years family gathering.

Our final, and potentially best advice for you: Be the curiosity that didn’t kill the cat. Ask them questions that might help you understand where their beliefs might lie even if you don’t share them. Make sure you promise yourself to listen with your ears and not with your voice — and let them get it out. Even if you don’t agree at the end, they will appreciate your efforts to open the conversation and learn. You never know, they may just want to learn some things in return. Educate each other — chances are they love you, and just didn’t realize how it was affecting you personally. You are all individuals — you can’t control, or have expectations of one another — you’re only here to teach each other!

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Femme Feed: How Fighting Rape Culture Broke The Internet This Week

How Fighting Rape Culture Broke The Internet This Week -- Verite PublishedUpon first seeing the tape released last week of Presidential Candidate Donald Trump proudly bragging about his affinity for being an overall sexual predator, many initial responses were to laugh. Not because it was funny — it’s anything but that, in fact it’s repulsive and deeply offensive — but because many of us knew he had it in him. America was alert yes, but shocked no. It was like an ad campaign for just how prevailing rape culture is in our everyday. A wake up we seemingly needed after a year of mildly addressing campus rape, Brock Turner, and many others. It feels like 2016 is the year of rape culture, not because its a new concept, it has always been around, however it’s the year that we look it in the face and address it as we can no longer ignore it.

As Michelle Obama said in a speech earlier this week in New Hampshire while supporting Clinton’s campaign, we as a country should be made up of individuals “…who think that our nation’s leaders should meet basic standards of human decency”. This something that Trump has shown over, and over that he does not. He has however highlighted boldly that rape culture in America is still prevalent, and engrained in our nations systems from top to bottom. FLOTUS reminded us that “…to dismiss this as everyday locker talk is an insult to decent men everywhere.”
How Fighting Rape Culture Broke The Internet This Week -- Verite Published
Michelle isn’t the only woman leveraging her platform in the limelight to fight the good fight. Writer Kelly Oxford also took to her Twitter, enraged no less, to start the hashtag #NotOkay where she fueled women to share stories of their first sexual assault evoking that “it’s not just stats.” In 160 characters women came together to overflow the Twittershpere with an overwhelming amount of stories.

How Fighting Rape Culture Broke The Internet This Week -- Verite Published

It was powerful to see how as a community we are so inflamed by Trump’s words that we came together to share painful, and private scenarios to make an impact. You only have to scroll through the hashtag #NotOkay to feel that every woman has been affected by sexual harassment in some form or another.

We want this mishap of Donald Trump’s to be the final dose of gasoline that ignites us to keep fighting against rape culture, and to finally end it. To quote Michelle Obama one last time, this is a “disrespect of our ambitions and our intellect.” as women.

What you can do to fight rape culture: First and foremost it’s important that you stand by your community of sisters across America and the world to hold strong against what Trump calls “locker room talk” and what we call sexual assault. Second, be a voice for fellow girls who don’t have one by not letting this kind of behavior slide. Third, it’s important that you vote for a candidate that can protect, and fight for your rights. Lastly, go and thank the upstanding gentlemen in your life, as they will be the ones by your side changing the way we deal with this issue.

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Femme Feed: Everything You Need To Know About What Went Down at The First Presidential Debate

Everything You Need To Know About What Went Down at The First Presidential Debate --- Verite PublishedThe first of this year’s presidential debates kicked off last night, and armed with wine, we watched (no, cringed) our way through a lot of side-eyes and finger pointing from the Candidates. We are here this morning to break down exactly what went on last night for those of you who either didn’t tune in, or are still scratching their heads wondering if that got us anywhere…

Mo Money Mo Problems

The economy was a hot topic at last night’s debate, and while Hillary Clinton had some zingers like coining the phrase “Trumped up, and trickle down” in reference to Donald’s plans for the economy, he in return seemed to be confused about the question. He reverted back to Trump-as-business-expert talking about his own, threw some shade at Hillary for “telling us how to fight Isis on her website” (off topic?), and then concluded with the fact that we must stop letting other countries steal our jobs. Hillary helped try to shed some light on the topic for Big T, saying maybe he was confused because he’s never paid any income tax. Her focus stayed on equal pay between genders, and profit share.

Go For Your Guns

The candidates had a good chat about how they promise to secure America, and it went a lot like this: Hillary threatens hackers, Trump wants to bring back the stop-and-frisk, Hillary wants black communities and law enforcement to reconcile their differences. Trump was also not ready to drop his whole Hillary/ Isis conspiracy.

What A Time To Be Alive

The future of America was also a big topic, when candidates weren’t straying into broken record areas like the Obama birth conspiracy which was recently put to rest. Trump also shared that he allows black communities to hold membership at his golf club in Florida, and patted himself on the back for it, as if it were some kind of progressive achievement.

B*tches Ain’t Shit but Hoe’s & Tricks

Hillary got to have a little satisfaction when she looked Donald in the eye and ran off his laundry list of misogynistic moments. He fumbled around trying to say they were out of context, but still looked like a jerk when he resurrected the whole Rosie O’Donell subject, and still couldn’t muster anything nice to say after all this time.

0 to 100 Real Quick / The Catch Up

Overall, we don’t think last night was really a trophy winner for either of the candidates, though when DT accused Clinton for not going on press tours, she got to fight back with the fact that she was busy being razor focused on these debates — “I prepared to be president”. Mic drop. The real issue that last night highlighted was the incessant gas lighting from Trump towards Hillary that he just can’t seem to shake. What stuck with us the most was when Trump accused Hillary’s ads of “not being very nice” towards him. It only underlined the issue further that while male candidates seem to have free reign to be ruthless, female candidates are supposed to act ‘lady-like’. We doubt you would see a bunch of male candidates whining that they were hurting each others feelings on debate day. Trump’s only weapon so far to combat Big Hill seems to be tugging on the innate sexism of so many of his supporters, rallying them up against her by pointing out the ways she has faltered at ‘being a women’. As we come so close to having a female leader, we can’t help but hang on to the fact that although sometimes well masked, the gender slant is alive and well behind the podium.






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