#VERITEWOMAN ADVICE: How To Survive The Holidays With Your Trump Supporting Fam

Advice: How To Survive The Holidays With Your Trump Supporting Fam | VERITE WOMAN, advice column, feminist community, girl gang, intersectionality, anti-trump, not my president, Hillary Clinton, republican, democrat, politics, family, Christmas, hanukkah.
We’re all getting ready to ship off to our respective holiday celebrations — we’re foreshadowing eggnog, ugly sweaters, and heated debates across the Christmas ham. The first installment of Femme Feed Advice comes from a pal of the site with this wing-dinger:

I’m headed home to see my conservative family for the holidays. It’s always a bit of butting heads on lifestyles but this year feels especially scary since they are Trump supporters and I am very vocal about not being one. Any advice you babes might have on staying sane, and ensuring no one gets dish wear to the head?

A great question indeed. We chose this topic to kick off our advice column because we figured there would be a whole slew of you also fearing just the same scenario. Truth is, it’s unavoidable, and I’m not a prime example in this department — I can’t help but take the subject very personally, often resulting in huffing and puffing my way out the front door. I turned to some trusted resources to bring you answers to keep the blood shed at bay. We took to a good ol’ group text to ask our girls with similar family dynamics how they manage to hold off a family meltdown.

Nida who’s spending Hanukkah with the Trump supporting men in her life suggests you set boundaries. “My advice is to embrace prayer. There’s no point in ruining a perfectly good evening and/or outfit over any asshole. It’s about time and place, and holiday parties are neither.” This means being vocal about what you do and don’t want to talk about is key. Explain that you still respect them regardless of their political beliefs, and you would like them to respect your right to remain festive. Another friend seconds this movement by saying “People are complicated. You’re not going to love every part of them. You love them in spite of their faults. Donald Trump is awful and scary man, but it doesn’t mean people who do find him appealing are bad people.”

“Invest in a weed pen and smoke out in the bathroom with your younger cousin,” says Mathilda. Her politically-inclined pops & co. can get a little heated, so bringing the relaxers to the mixer might just be your savior. While this sounds like off-beat advice we take it as more metaphorical. Keep things light hearted and chill — and when someone’s had too many hot toddies and leans in to talk international affairs just excuse yourself and find a quiet place to cool down. Removing yourself from the scenario momentarily can allow your mind to find ease, and let’s your family know you’re using your most adult moves to respect freedom of speech but not indulge. If that doesn’t work she suggests “Memorize Eminem’s rap bashing Trump and make a toast to recite it.”

A third confidant, Dani, suggests taking a very different approach. Break out the shot glasses and turn it into a night of drunk history! “Every time Trump comes up, Tequila!” Our guess is you’ll probably eventually forget what you were talking about in the first place. Overall just agree to have fun regardless of your personal beliefs. Take it up a notch and film the whole thing — it will bring you all closer to rewatch the slurry footage at next years family gathering.

Our final, and potentially best advice for you: Be the curiosity that didn’t kill the cat. Ask them questions that might help you understand where their beliefs might lie even if you don’t share them. Make sure you promise yourself to listen with your ears and not with your voice — and let them get it out. Even if you don’t agree at the end, they will appreciate your efforts to open the conversation and learn. You never know, they may just want to learn some things in return. Educate each other — chances are they love you, and just didn’t realize how it was affecting you personally. You are all individuals — you can’t control, or have expectations of one another — you’re only here to teach each other!

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Femme Feed: Why Are Women Still Portrayed Unequal In Media?

Femme Feed: Why Are Women Still Portrayed Unequal In Media? - Verite Published

These days media is imbued into our everyday existence, it feels like we can’t go a minute, hour, or much less day without interacting with some form of media. Whether it is TV, Google, or scrolling through a plethora of feeds — we have a symbiotic relationship with the media. In mirrored consistency, we are stunned by the unfair and downright ridiculous way women are portrayed in the media in the ripe year of 2016. Popular media is so geared towards limiting women and pitting them against one another, emphasizing their looks or personal life. Who wore it better? Who cares!
We see this magnified as a woman runs for office, battling the brigade of fabricated noise to fill air time on nightly news. A prime example, many outlets focusing on the *shocking* choice of Hilary Clinton’s $12K Armani suit worn to speak about inequality in April. This taking up ample news space that could have been dedicated to, we don’t know…her actual speech?

This mass machine of content’s vast pull on our generation proves powerful even in subtle ways, even sometimes on the flip side of that same coin. There has been a flurry of speculation of whether Google altered their search engine results surrounding Hilary. Executives at Google are among Hilary’s biggest supporters and their actions to portray Hilary in a glorified light, although may be unethical in the censoring kind of way, must be looked at as a real manifestation of clearing a woman’s negative and unfair media criticism, along with maybe a few scandals. Is the search engine manipulation sketchy with a touch of eerie censorship? Yes. But is it possible that the experts at Google who support Hilary are trying to even the playing field because they, more than most, understand the massive imbalance in the portrayal of men and women in the media.

You don’t see many men in the media being scrutinized over their looks or their personal relationships or how they wear their suits. Therefore, we wonder why women should be? As we learned in the powerful 2011 documentary Miss Representation, there are very few women still in the highest positions of media, giving us very little control over the way we are portrayed.

These factors are so frustrating because we live in a generation in which women are seeking to make supporting one another cool and seeking to banish the competition, and rather empower one another’s unique essence. The young slew of supermodels attempt to promote supporting one’s local girl gang. However, with the recent Stephanie Seymour debacle in which she calls the new crew of Supermodels “bitches of the moment,” revealing her lack of respect for the social media stardom that leads young women into the roles of today’s mega-influencers. Receiving a barrage of backlash Stephanie then clarified that the media had twisted her words and that she supports the women who work hard in the modeling industry and emphasizes that her intentions were not malicious. A perfect example of the media dramatizing women’s relationships with one another, in this case former supermodel with younger budding ones — one that the media wants to make a competition of scorned elder and rebellious youth.

These ridiculous depictions of women in the media shift the focus from what we know and can accomplish to what we look like and how we interact with one another, in order to subtly infuse girl drama into popular culture. In a trickle down affect, it teaches our young girls that it’s okay to act this way toward one another in school, social, and even virtual settings. Pop culture is increasingly important today and we must actively recognize and seek to alter the media driven culture of comparing ourselves to each other. That’s why we have all the feels for the rejuvenation of the #GirlGang, and things like Michelle Obama’s killer campaign for The United State of Women, sending the message that together we can create a new, beautiful world.

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