My Essentials: Answers to the Questions You Ask Most!


My Essentials: Answers to the Questions You Ask Most! Bioderma, How to cure jet lag, essentials, skincare, natural beauty, the best eyelash curler, the best beauty tools, meyers cleaning products, natural cleaning products, herbs for women, benefits of goth, benefits of ashwagandha, aquaphor, my reading list, books that changed my life, self help, self care, ayurveda, The Ordinary, chemical peel, affordable skincare.So many of you wonderful women reach out to me on a daily basis to ask for suggestions on all topics we love here at Vérité Woman. It truly makes my day — there’s something about being known as your go-to girl that warms my heart. Most of all you ask me about products I live for, herbs that sustain me, and tools that get me through modern life juggling being a vocal feminist/ self-care advocate/ business owner.
To streamline my suggestions, and because I love a good list, I wanted a place where you could come and easily find all the essentials I’m living for right now. Categorized, purposeful, reasonable. – Michaela d’Artois
= products readers loved and bought through our suggestion!

RMS Beauty Luminizer Highlighter, Living, 0.17 Ounce

If RMS established a cult, I would join willingly. Need I say more?

Nightingale Toning Peeling Pads Daily 50pcs
A small daily dose of a chemical exfoliant and toner in a cotton pad. Great for prepping your skin to glow.

Hair Serum Dry Hair Treatment – Best Frizzy Hair Serum for Damaged Hair – Remilia Hair Care Capsules Keratin Silk Pro-Vit B5 -GMO-Paraben-Sulfate Free for All Hair Types (30 Capsules)
Aside from wash, rinse, repeat, condition this is the only hair product I use. It leaves my hair shiny without weighing it down like many other oils. I started using Remilia Cosmo Capsules a few months ago and the number of comments I get about my hair daily is insane.

The Ordinary Ascorbyl Glucoside Solution 12% 30ml

I speak highly of all The Ordinary products but this one is apart of my daily morning regime and has worked wonders. Read my full review here.

KYPRIS – 100% Natural / Vegan Pot of Shade: Heliotropic Sunscreen (SPF 30, .91 oz / 27 ml)
SPF is so incredibly important and it’s taken me years to find one I like. Kypris does it right and does it without any gross ingredients.

Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Sleeping Mask 2.7oz/80ml
I live for an overnight mask (I do not live for waking up & finding dog hairs stuck to it) and this one is breaking the web right now, so it must be legit right? I say so.

Bioderma Sensibio H2O Micellar Cleansing Water and Makeup Remover Solution for Face and Eyes – 16.7 fl. oz.
I’ve talked about this stuff a lot and I will continue… when I travel a lot my shoulders tend to want to break out — a daily swipe up Bioderma Micellar Cleansing Water on your face, neck, chest, and back (wherever you might suffer a breakout) does the trick. It’s sort of like a cleanser and toner in one!

SKINUA | 12 Packs of Natural ANTI-AGING Mask Sheets | Natural Aloe, Snail, Collagen, Pearl | Adenosine, Peptide components for GLOWING, HEALTHY, AGELESS skin | K-BEAUTY Product
This one’s from my Korean Beauty Vault. I’m just super into the weird ingredients like the snail, pearl, and caviar. 

The Ordinary Peeling Solution 30ml AHA 30% + BHA 2%

A few months ago a skincare professional suggested I start using a chemical peel. I’m such a fan of exfoliating products but needed to get deeper. The Ordinary was in my budget, and was well-received — so far I love it!

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 30 ml


Hyaluronic Acid is my new favorite buzzy ingredient. As someone with super dry skin, this helps me maintain hydration all day. Read my full review here. 

Living Proof Perfect Hair Day Dry Shampoo 1.8 oz
The only dry shampoo I’ve ever loved and it feels like I’ve tried them all.

PURE Shea Butter by Buena Skin | Organic, Raw, Unrefined, Cold-Pressed – Great To UseAlone or DIY Body Butters, Lotions, Soaps, Eczema & Stretch Mark Products, From Ghana – 8 oz
As aforementioned I have dry skin. It’s the worst. I live in a desert. I go through this shae butter like it’s a box of girl scout cookies.

Molivera Organics Bentonite Clay for Detoxifying and Rejuvenating Skin and Hair, 16 oz.
This mask is a great way to pull toxins from your skin, hair, and body. Mix the Bentonite powder with apple cider vinegar (don’t use any metal tools to mix, it will affect the mask) and spread generously over face and neck, leave until dry and rinse in warm water. This mask can begin to burn and heat the skin beneath — this is all a part of the process of bringing blood flow to skin’s surface to give it fresh oxygen and circulation. All good things, trust.

Herbivore Botanicals – Citrine Body Oil (4 oz)
I just love the smell of this body oil so much. 

Castor Oil (2oz) USDA Certified Organic, 100% Pure, Cold Pressed, Hexane Free by Kate Blanc. Stimulate Growth for Eyelashes, Eyebrows, Hair. Lash Growth Serum. Brow Treatment. FREE Mascara Starter Kit
I recently got turned on to castor oil packs to detox my digestive system and help with truly painful cramps. Castor oil goes so much further though — it’s a great nutritional product for aiding in the growth and health of your hair and nails. 

Skin Owl – Organic Eye+ (Nourishing + Youth Stimulating Eye Concentrate)
Skin Owl is such a great brand and I use their eye concentrate nightly to deliver that hydration and minimize fine lines.

Banyan Botanicals Sesame Oil, Certified Organic, 16 oz – Pure, Unrefined – The Most Traditional of All Oils Used in Ayurveda, Good for Vata and Kapha
I bring this Ayurvedic oil with me whenever I go for a massage. The smell calms me and the herbs heal from the inside out. They can also use it on my face, hair, everywhere. If I’m not able to treat myself, I’ll give myself a 15-minute oil massage before hopping in the shower. It promotes circulation and balance.

Klorane Shampoo with Mango Butter – Dry Hair, 13.5 fl. oz.
Before this shampoo, I had never found one I was monogamous to, but I think this might be the one.

Klorane Mask with Mango Butter – For Dry Hair, 5.07 fl. oz.
My colored hair loves this nourishing treatment!

Aquaphor Healing Ointment, Advanced Therapy Skin Protectant 14 Ounce
Do I need to say it again? I have crazy dry skin. Aquaphor is a heal-all for freshly shaved legs, chapped lips, and sun-kissed skin.

Derma Roller for Personal Use -By Golden Touch Luxury Skincare Collection

The number of readers who have told me they bought this derma roller from my suggestion — I could have an empire by now!

Beauty Bar 24k Golden Pulse Facial Massager, T-Shape Electric Sign Face Massage Tools for Sensitive Skin Face Pull Tight Firming Lift

Ditto to the derma roller, this facial massager is my go-to for lymphatic face treatments. Readers have loved this product, so do I — so will you!

Corkcicle Canteen Classic Collection-Water Bottle & Thermos-Triple Insulated Shatterproof Stainless Steel, 25 oz, Gloss Pink
I’m trying my very best to drink my daily dose of water — this cute water bottle makes it easy!

For Pro Premium Stitched Round Cotton, 600 Count
For taking off my makeup, nail polish, or pressing rose water/toner into my skin — I buy these in bulk.

Brilliant Beauty Eyelash Curler – Award Winning – With Satin Bag & Refill Pads – No Pinching, Just Dramatically Curled Eyelashes & Lash Line in Seconds. Get Gorgeous Eye Lashes Now!I don’t use many makeup products or tools, but I love a good full lash look.

Supracor Spa Bath Mitt Body Exfoliator Face Antibacterial Scrub Sponge (Purple)
I’m big into exfoliation for a myriad of reasons (circulation, a natural glow, lymphatic drainage) and trust me when I say I’ve tried every exfoliating glove under the sun. This one’s the best. You heard it here first folks.

Bragg USDA Gluten Free Organic Raw Apple Cider Vinegar, With the Mother 16 ounces
Every girl should have a bottle of Baggs in their cabinet.

Marine Collagen Powder Peptides – Blueberry Flavor (30 stick packs) – 100% Organic – Anti Aging – Hyaluronic Acid – Youth + Love
When I’m really on my game, I remember to drink Youth+ Love’s Marine Collagen Powder in my water. These promote collagen production in your skin and muscles — the fountain of youth? Worth a try! Plus, they taste pretty damn good.

Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract™ Candida Cleanse and Digestion Formula102 — 200 Vegetarian Capsules
It seems every aspect of modern life can cause candida in our bodies. To ensure my candida level is in check, I take these natural capsules.

High Strength Propolis Alcohol-Free 1 oz
I learned this from the French so you know it’s good: if you feel a cold coming on, a drop of propolis will set it right.

UpNature Wild Oregano Oil 4 OZ – 100% Pure and Natural, Undiluted and Unfiltered, GMO-Free, Premium Quality
Oregano oil is my cure all — pimples, infected cuts, sore throat, you name it. Tastes absolutely repulsive but it works.

Four Sigmatic Mushroom Coffee Mix Pack of 2 – Lion’s Mane and Chaga & Cordyceps and Chaga

started drinking these a few weeks back and loved the taste (not everyone agrees with me on the flavor palette) and how it made me feel. Yes, it’s coffee but it’s mixed with all kinds of amazing fungi like chaga that work wonders on your system and skin.

GoMacro Macrobar Organic Vegan Protein Bar, Mocha Chocolate Chip, 2.3 Ounce
I keep this in my purse for when I get hangry.

Yamamotoyama Genmai-cha Green Tea with Roasted Rice 16 Count Tea Bags Aluminum Sealed (3 Pack)
I drink green tea all day long: it flushes your system, is amazing for your skin, and this one tastes like popcorn!

NOW Melatonin 5 mg,180 Veg Capsules
When traveling through time zones, I always make sure to have my melatonin close by. It really helps kick jet lag.

*A few years ago I realized I was combating daily effects of anxiety. In a personal decision to find a natural solution and stay away from prescription drugs I have found some herbal ways to deal (yes, all the herbal ways). Below are a few that help immensely on the daily!
Organic Ashwagandha Root Powder 1200mg – 120 Veggie Capsules – Ashwagandha Supplement Certified Organic – Black Pepper Extract For Increased Absorption
I take ashwagandha daily as a natural remedy for my anxiety and bouts of low energy. This herb boosts your mood and concentration! 

Gotu Kola 450mg Now Foods 100 Caps
This daily herb is a good trade in for that mid-day latte. Gotu has similar impacts as a cup of coffee without the anxious aftermath.

Rescue Remedy Dropper 20ml
Another natural anxiety weapon that I have found truly works.

The Prophet (A Borzoi Book)

The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul

The Artist’s Way: 25th Anniversary Edition

Alchemy of Herbs: Transform Everyday Ingredients into Foods and Remedies That Heal

Ayurveda Lifestyle Wisdom: A Complete Prescription to Optimize Your Health, Prevent Disease, and Live with Vitality and Joy

The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter–And How to Make the Most of Them Now

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)

P.F. Candle Co. Teakwood & Tobacco 3.5 oz. Scented Soy Candle with Match Bottle
This P.F. Candle is my all-time favorite. The smell is masculine and exotic making my home extra cozy.

Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day Kitchen Basics Set, Lavender, 3 ct: Dish Soap (16 fl oz), Hand Soap (12.5 fl oz), Multi-Surface Everyday Cleaner (16 fl oz)
For all things housekeeping.

URPOWER 2nd Version Essential Oil Diffuser Aroma Essential Oil Cool Mist Humidifier with Adjustable Mist Mode,Waterless Auto Shut-off and 7 Color LED Lights Changing
I love my essential oil diffuser for setting the mood at home whether it’s time to get down to business, or prepping for a night of deep sleep.

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Self-Portraiture as Power: How I fell in Love with the Woman in the Photos

Self Portraiture as Power: How I fell in Love with the Woman in the Photos.

Self Portraiture as Power: How I fell in Love with the Woman in the Photos, now on VERITE WOMAN, Self Portrait, Photographer, Photography, Woman, Model, Fujifilm, VSCO Cam, photo editing, artist, creative, how to take a selfie, feminism, self love, how to love yourself, how to have self confidence, Instagram.
Words and photography by Michaela d’Artois.

We live in a selfie nation. Did you know that there’s a tactic of taking a photo called a fake selfie? In which someone else holds the camera for you but you extend your arm out as if it is, in fact, a momentary shot that you conjured yourself (with a go-go gadget arm length no less). Our fascination with this self-curated phenomenon seems endless. Yet self-portraiture gets a bad rep. It is easily seen as vapid to spend hours on the floor of your apartment, self-timer mode in full effect, being creative director to your own limbs. However, in a journey with the self as subject, I have found it to be one of the most liberating forms of creativity and expression I have yet to face as an artist. I would go as far to say that it has connected me deeper with who I am as a woman, and allowed me to fall in love the woman in the photos.

I have long been mystified by why we seek muses outside of ourselves. We’re told to look at yourself too long, or to focus on your own-ness is an illness of narcissism, yet narcissism is actually a mental state derived from fear of lacking.
Think of the most impactful female artists who have used themselves as the canvas for their work: Frida Kahlo, Cindy Sherman, Lois Mailou Jones, and my personal favorite Ana Mandieta. All of these women saw the most important study was themselves. If more people looked inward for inspiration rather than outward to those #LifeGoals, #BodyGoals, #CoupleGoals we swipe through daily, we would have more women living and breathing their truths.
Self Portraiture as Power: How I fell in Love with the Woman in the Photos, now on VERITE WOMAN, Self Portrait, Photographer, Photography, Woman, Model, Fujifilm, VSCO Cam, photo editing, artist, creative, how to take a selfie, feminism, self love, how to love yourself, how to have self confidence, Instagram.I hold the belief that when someone photographs you, they take a little part of you with each image captured. Their eye is requesting you to fit inside their vision, whether they mean to impose or not and once the still is shot you have very little control where that image will go, how the conversation around it will be formatted. When those photos go “live”, thousands, maybe millions of eyes take what they want from the photo. Whether the female gaze, male gaze or other gaze sees it, they are free to digest and judge it as they wish. If the thousands of years of art history prior to the life of Instagram tells us anything,
the female has always been a part of art’s context, however, she has had very little say on how she is portrayed and then viewed. We can never stop creepers from creeping, or subjects being objectified but we can structure the way She as Subject is being used.

Self Portraiture as Power: How I fell in Love with the Woman in the Photos, now on VERITE WOMAN, Self Portrait, Photographer, Photography, Woman, Model, Fujifilm, VSCO Cam, photo editing, artist, creative, how to take a selfie, feminism, self love, how to love yourself, how to have self confidence, Instagram.

Fast forward a year into my journey, almost all the content I create is self-portraiture, and this project of documenting myself has been liberating, to say the least. With uninhibited freedom of working in solitude I am unaffected in the time it takes me to “get the shot” and the fearless to express my truest self. When I click through the photos I have taken, I see a woman comfortable in her body, in her space, in her sexuality — she is not trying to fit into someone else’s vision, or appease someone else’s gaze but she commands her own. I found myself falling in love with this woman’s vulnerability, she’s unrestrained, enjoying the flaws that make her real. I love the way the light catches the tiny sprinkling of hairs on her upper thighs, the way the soles of her feet are always dusty from running around her L.A. studio. I love the way that on any given day she could embody a million different women while still staying true to her self. I love that I am in control of how I am being portrayed, and it isn’t at the expense or direction of anyone else. I am so much more than my physical self, and through the photos, I create I can tell that story in a two-dimensional format.

As anything else, the more familiar we become with a subject, the more normalized it becomes to us. Through the act of photographing myself, I was liberated to get to know who I am and see myself objectively. It made me more comfortable in my skin. It made me more comfortable to see that from an outside perspective those little things that bug you about your surface “self” were really not apparent at all.
In the art of self-portraiture, we don’t all need to be Cindy Sherman’s. Part of the craft is self-discovery, and in a world where publishing just means sharing I realized these photos don’t have to go anywhere if I don’t want them to — they are first and foremost for me and no one else.

It’s the study of self.

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Symbols of Love: How I’m Treating My Divine Femme This V-Day!

Symbols of Love: How I’m Treating My Divine Femme This V-Day!
Symbols of Love: How I'm Calling In My Divine Feminine!, VERITE WOMAN, Meow Meow Tweet, Natural Deodorant, Rose Quartz infused water, Rose Quartz Water bottle, The Desire Map, Danielle Laporte, Goal Setting, Self Care, Divine Feminine, Altar Candle, Spell Candle, Essie Nail Polish, Valentines Day, What to buy for valentine, Daniel Wellington, Beyond Yoga.Symbols of Love: How I'm Calling In My Divine Feminine!, VERITE WOMAN, Meow Meow Tweet, Natural Deodorant, Rose Quartz infused water, Rose Quartz Water bottle, The Desire Map, Danielle Laporte, Goal Setting, Self Care, Divine Feminine, Altar Candle, Spell Candle, Essie Nail Polish, Valentines Day, What to buy for valentine, Daniel Wellington, Beyond Yoga.In this month of love, I can’t help but feel an open channel to my Divine Feminine. Bring on the red silk frocks, rose quartz in abundance and a large glasses of red wine, please. This is where I came up with the idea of the Vérité Woman Divine Femme Mini Altar Set: a little grab-n-go ritual that makes time to worship yourself and the women that have come before you and will come after you. In order to give love, we must first deeply appreciate ourselves —gearing up to smother my own Valentine I’m first spoiling myself, and I suggest you follow suit. Here are just a few of the things are giving me heart eyes this February.

Elixir2Go Crystal Elixir Bottle – 16oz Gemstone Water Bottle for Making Crystal Infused Gemwater – Includes Gem Stones and Protective Neoprene Sleeve (Smoky Quartz & Clear Quartz)
It’s possible that there has never been a more LA accessory than this, but the Rose Quartz Water Bottle is a woo-woo trap I’m fully willing to jump into. Some brands range these at close to $100 and I’m thinking naaah. But this more affordable option is definitely a favorite for me.

The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul
O.K. get ready for the second most LA thing — I saw a psychic, she told me to buy this book, I did. It’s brilliant. Danielle LaPorte has restructured how we set goals based on how we want to feel in our lives instead of by an end goal. Half book, half workbook this is a great way to rethink your intentions, life plan, and to-do list all in one.

Vérité Woman Divine Femme Mini Altar Set
It’s finally here! Our Mini Altar Set — the perfect gift for all the ladies in your Girl Gang, including yourself.

Meow Meow Tweet Lavender Bergamot Deodorant Stick, 1.8 oz

As someone who fears the chemicals of mainstream deodorants, yet is constantly at battle with the fact that natural ones smell like chicken soup (why tho?) finding this Meow Meow Tweet option has saved me, and probably those who have to hang out with me.

Beyond Yoga Women’s High Cut Crisscross Bra, Black/Charcoal, Medium

I’m just super into the sexiness of this sports bra, and the body positive message of Beyond Yoga — that is all.

Essie Nail Color, Forever Yummy, reds,0.46 fl. oz.

I’ve never (ever) been a red girl. It was a color that emitted anger to me, it was abrasive, only now I see it as love. I see it as a symbol of feminine power. I started out wearing it in this Essie color for small doses but now I can’t be stopped.

Get A Daniel Wellington Gift Set For You or Your Lover by using my 15% off Code: MICHAELA2018 (before 02.18)

You know it’s totally cool if you’re your own Valentine right? I’m saying treat yourself to a Daniel Wellington Gift Set using my discount code!

Symbols of Love: How I'm Calling In My Divine Feminine!, VERITE WOMAN, Meow Meow Tweet, Natural Deodorant, Rose Quartz infused water, Rose Quartz Water bottle, The Desire Map, Danielle Laporte, Goal Setting, Self Care, Divine Feminine, Altar Candle, Spell Candle, Essie Nail Polish, Valentines Day, What to buy for valentine, Daniel Wellington, Beyond Yoga.

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This Could Be Why You Haven’t Been Feeling Yourself Lately

This Could Be Why You Haven't Been Feeling Yourself Lately now on VERITE WOMAN, Self Care, mental health, trauma, me too movement, #metoo, sexual harassment, inclusive feminism, intersectional feminism, wellness.
Words and Photography by Michaela d’Artois.

Women are empathetic as fuck. I know this because if I’m being truly connected with myself, opening all lines of inner communication I can feel where my own body has absorbed the traumas of the world around me. In a time of the #MeToo movement, living in a country ruled by a sexual predator, and daily updates of unfolding cases of rape and sexual misconduct — our traumas go beyond those that have physically touched us.

In conversation with a friend seeking advice as to why she was so timid around those of the opposite sex, my own feelings were mirrored through her experiences. A few years free of a bad breakup, she was ready to jump into the dating pool once again, only her shyness was less a charming quirk and more an alienating aside. She had not been physically affected by sexual assault, however, it’s easy for me to believe as women we have all been victims of abuse in a mental capacity (so often in forms that go unnoticed), if not a physical one. As she spoke, my theory found its words. Bear with me.

Women absorb. We are constantly absorbing the emotions of our surroundings, picking up nuances of pain felt by our loved ones, violence towards our superior Mother Nature, and drinking in energies we can’t even detect until we feel the exhaustion roll through us. A 1995 study in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology showed that women involuntarily imitate the emotional expressions of others. A characteristic we can blame on our brain’s “mirror neurons” that initiate us to match the emotional state or energy level of another being. Now on high alert, I see this play out in all the women around me as many of my close friends mention a feeling of being drained, only they can’t quite pinpoint why. Worse, so many women in my life, including myself have expressed symptoms of depression onset by the current state of our culture.

This Could Be Why You Haven't Been Feeling Yourself Lately now on VERITE WOMAN, Self Care, mental health, trauma, me too movement, #metoo, sexual harassment, inclusive feminism, intersectional feminism, wellness.Don’t get me wrong, these are growing pains that we must endure to find the change we seek. These movements for women to gain the justice they deserve are necessary, and we feel for them, all of us feel so deeply for the sadness, suppression, and shame they’ve carried.

It’s a beating-the-dead-horse example, but it’s truly the clearest line I can draw. When Trump was voted into office, it was days that I cried on and off, not because my team had lost, but due to the fact that I felt a huge chunk of my chosen country (I could be in Canada right now with Trudeau, and yes why aren’t I?) did not respect the welfare, and preservation of its female population. I no longer felt safe, or welcome for that matter. This emotional rollercoaster has followed me ever since, often feeling completely drained on days when I spend extra time debating whether Aziz Ansari was in the wrong or not (I strongly believe he was, don’t open this can of worms), or if all our favorite Hollywood folks were, in fact, hiding Weinstein’s secrets for him. These sound so surface but they are the truest representations of what goes on in every level of our society.

While the world seems on the brink of destruction and in a constant Twitter war of ill-resourced tactics we probably don’t even clock how much the acts of the greater establishments are adding to our daily stress levels. When our body is prompted to feel uneasy it releases stress hormones called adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol which have some heavy affects on our physical self. This state wears on your nervous system and lowers the immune system making us more prone to illness. It can also lower our inner-mechanics ability to detox itself, allowing more gunk to build up in the body like mucus, and waste leaving us feeling sluggish, lethargic, and even *ding, ding, ding* depressed.

Women are also fucking resilient. Even in times of fear, we find it within ourselves to be resourceful and build a space for ourselves when one isn’t offered. That void you’ve been feeling for months, maybe years, it’s your empathy taking on the traumas of our sisters, our Earth, and all the female energies that have been wronged for much longer than we have been a feminine figure on this planet.

Ways I’ve found that have helped me level the effects of these second-hand traumas are:

By setting boundaries for myself with my intake of information. While being a “woke” member of this society is very important to me, I need to listen to myself about how much is too much. For example, I have personal trigger points that I cannot ignore.

That leads me to: be aware of trigger warnings. This doesn’t have to just be when it comes to the news you’re ingesting, but also when you’re out in the world. If something might be triggering for you, you absolutely do not have to do it.

By creating a safe space within my intimate community to hash out all the feelings. So many feelings. Sharing our current states, and talking it out was what lead me to realize a commonality between those close to me and the world around us as it is.

By finding time to turn off. Spending more time outside, and not in the presence of news alerts has helped me massively. If I take time every day to be in the quiet of nature, it recharges me to come back into 2018.

A few things helping ground us & keeping us happy during these weird times:
1. Ayurvedic massage oil to keep our body calm and balanced 2. five-minute journal to keep us conscious 3. face masks for self-care (duh) 4. Home cleansing kit to keep us zen in our mental and physical spaces 5. Ashwagandha as a natural depression fighter, hormone balancer, and mood booster!

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Feng Shui For Dating: A Bedroom That Manifests Love.

Simply stated, the ancient art form of feng shui is two-fold: welcoming beautiful energy into your life, and making it feel at home. When you walk into a space and feel an immediate sense of reverence — that’s feng shui. It’s powerful. And it’s communicated thru the language of metaphor, with our homes as metaphors for our (love) lives. If walls could talk, what would they say about your dating life?  

As I continually refine my feng shui practice, subtlety reigns; more sensuality than suncatcher crystals. Chanel had it right when she declared, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take at least one thing off.” Apply this to interiors, for open space is vital when manifesting change. Fresh energy needs a place to rest. Single friends (or those looking to ramp up an existing relationship) contemplate on how much space you have in your life, and for the focus of this article, your bedroom. If you were a guest, would you feel comfortable? A potential partner needs to sense that you have space for them, in all ways.

I remember someone telling me to always sleep in your own guest room. Now that I’m dating again post-divorce, I lost the guest room but kept the adage, and apply it thru the lens of romance. When I invite a man over, I want him to relax, lounge and leisure with me, get grounded, and feel open enough to bare his soul. I set up my house to reinforce these desires. What are your relationship desires? As you apply the following steps, infuse your intentions into each action. In feng shui, the ‘cure’ and the intention work in delightful tandem.

How to use feng shui to activate your bedroom for dating in six easy steps:

  1. Place your bed in a power position.

‘Power position’ is a feng shui term for the most beneficial placement of a high-use piece of furniture. For a bed, a power position entails:

  •  a solid wall behind the headboard
  • space to enter the bed from either side
  • a clear view of the bedroom door, without being in line with the doorway

Basically, position yourself so that no one can sneak up behind you, and you can see who is coming into the room. Considering the energy flow in such a manner leads to a feeling of safety, which translates into peaceful sleep. I’ve seen many a single sleeping with their bed pressed up against a wall. I ask them: “How is your lover supposed to get in and out? Over your sleeping body?” Not very considerate.

BONUS: Think fresh sheets for fresh action. Treat yourself to a new set of linens (or even pillowcases) for better juju.  Red is the color of passion, purple of abundance and green of growth…

  1. Clean under your bed.

You are literally sleeping with anything you keep under your bed. Think about that. If you keep old shoes there, then you are sleeping with those shoes — and with all of the places they have walked, all of the dirt they have acquired. Tax records, sleeping with them. Winter clothes, sleeping with them. Whatever is under the bed becomes activated as a metaphor in your love life; likely not the threesome you fantasize about. Keep it clean and clear under the bed, for better sleep, sex and dreaming.

  1. Choose matching bedside tables.

Equality in relationship is a beautiful goal. Set the mood for this equality to be revealed with matching bedside tables. Yes, it can be that simple! The tables should fit the look and scale of your bed. If a lamp is on one, a matching lamp should be on the other. For singles, I like to stack the deck by placing something symbolic on a future partner’s table: an empty notebook for the adventures you will write together or a book of erotic poetry.  And how about your side? Every surface has the potential to be an incognito altar.  

BONUS: Minimize electronics (EMFs) beside the bed for healthier sleep. Charge your phone somewhere else at night.

  1. Remove mirrors that directly face the bed.

Mirrors bounce around energy and double what they reflect. Struggling with insomnia, nightmares or infidelity? Take down the mirror(s) facing your bed, or cover at night if removal is not an option. Go mirrorless for a more harmonious environment.

  1. Create room in your closet.

Okay, so your dream lover is chilling in bed, leaning against that solid wall and reading you erotic poetry: but where will they hang their hat? If dreamy weekends together sound nice, give your guy or gal a place to hang up a few items. Keep a handful of empty wooden hangers in your closet. I promise you will smile when you see these hangers, picturing the stylish mate en route to you.

BONUS: Do the same in your medicine cabinet.  

  1. To be in a couple, decorate in pairs.

Look around your room, art included, and look for themes. A few years back I kept meeting men with whom I would really connect, only to learn that they were in an open relationship. I checked out my house. Sets of three were abound, which makes sense as a single mama with two sons. I remedied and the pattern stopped. As Aristotle stated, “the chief forms of beauty are order and symmetry.” Symmetry is pleasing to the eye, as well as to the heart. Add life with a pair of plants. Hang a painting of union. Get creative and embed happy twosomes around your bedroom.

To close, try this exercise with me to uncover your ‘Love Corner.’ Walk thru the doorway of your bedroom and go to the back right corner. What do you find here? Very telling! Love on this zone and place something symbolic here, or better yet, two somethings. But more on this in Feng Shui & Dating, Part Two: The Love Corner, coming soon.

Meghan Wallace James is at the Spiritual Advisor in residence at VÉRITÉ.  She is pleased to offer VÉRITÉ readers a special rate for virtual feng shui consults.  Email Meghan at for more details!

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