Femme Feed | Third-Wave Feminism, A Glossary of Terms You Need to Know

Third-Wave Feminism, A Glossary of Terms You Need to Know, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Feminism, Misogyny, third-wave feminism, girl talk, Queer, Cis, Binary, Masculinity, Tumblr, Instagram, Social Media, Glossary, Internet Art, Androcentric, Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming, Benevolent Sexism, intersectionality, Raunch Culture, MGTOW, The Male Gaze, Non-Binary. One can easily feel left out of dinner conversation in the height of a movement called Third-Wave Feminism. Multi-dashed terms being thrown around like a supper rolls, and opinions spat out as quick as a mouth-full of bad pinot. We don’t want you to feel like you’ve showed up late and empty handed, so we’ve gathered together a glossary of terms you’re going to want to know in order to make it through this current cultural climate.

Ambivalent Sexism: this is a tricky term because it quite literally means both the hostile and positive treatment of women resulting in a bias. For example sexism isn’t just having negative feelings towards women, it is based in treatment of women, even putting women on a overly positive pedestal which creates a form of inequality. This type of sexism can be dealt out by men, but also by women towards themselves and other females.

Androcentric: a mindset that is slanted towards the male point of view. For example: feminists are fighting against an androcentric society.

Antifeminism: is the opposition to any feminist, or women’s movement. See MGTOW.

Third-Wave Feminism, A Glossary of Terms You Need to Know, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Feminism, Misogyny, third-wave feminism, girl talk, Queer, Cis, Binary, Masculinity, Tumblr, Instagram, Social Media, Glossary, Internet Art, Androcentric, Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming, Benevolent Sexism, intersectionality, Raunch Culture, MGTOW, The Male Gaze, Non-Binary. Benevolent Sexism: this string of sexism is when both or either men and women hold a positively angled form of sexism which is rooted in protection, and glorification. This is probably the most difficult sexism to pin point, but the most frequent in our everyday. See Ambivalent Sexism.

Cis: short for cisgender this term relates to those who identify with the sex they were assigned to at birth. It is a term often used by the LGBT community, and intersectional feminists as an individual who may identify with their birth-given gender but may not fulfill cultural stereotypes of said gender.

Complementarianism: the idea that women and men hold complimentary roles to each other. In history this excludes women from many roles that are traditionally “male”.

Fat Shaming: the public shaming of an individual for their body size or weight.

Female Martyrdom: this is the concept of self-sacrifice by women for their beliefs in the feminist movement. This term has a lot of confusion and backlash as it is believed to have added to the justification of oppression of women in society.

Internalized Misogyny: a subconscious form of sexism that women hold within themselves due to the over use of sexism in our culture. For example girls truly believing they can’t be good at sports because it’s not for girls.

Intersectional Feminism: coined by American civil rights advocate and feminist Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw this term refers to a movement that must call out privilege in our efforts and be inclusive of gender, race, social class, sexual orientation, etc. For example a white woman’s feminism must be understanding, and active to the oppression of her fellow women regardless of their race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation in order for it to be progressive feminism.

The Modesty Movement: according to the blog themodestymovement10.blogspot.com the movement “wants women to understand that they can be beautiful, mysterious, and sexy without showing a lot of skin. Reclaim the power of your femininity.” We see its rise from many conservative fashion bloggers across social media from Muslim bloggers, to Orthodox Jewish bloggers, to just women who choose this is their message. It’s had a trickle up effect that has shifted runway styles at houses like Dolce & Gabbana. It’s argued that this sells the idea that what you wear translates to how you are treated by the opposite sex.

Third-Wave Feminism, A Glossary of Terms You Need to Know, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Feminism, Misogyny, third-wave feminism, girl talk, Queer, Cis, Binary, Masculinity, Tumblr, Instagram, Social Media, Glossary, Internet Art, Androcentric, Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming, Benevolent Sexism, intersectionality, Raunch Culture, MGTOW, The Male Gaze, Non-Binary.

Lipstick Feminism: this is a vertical of Third Wave Feminism that reinforces the ability for women to identify as feminists while upholding their ‘girly’ side. It’s the vein of thinking that one can still fight for an equal movement and simultaneously love a good makeup tutorial.

Raunch Culture: Collins Dictionary defines the term as: “a culture which promotes overtly sexual representation of women, as through the acceptance of pornography, stripping, nudity in advertising, etc, especially when this is encouraged by women.” Raunch culture is a culture in which women are sexually objectified by the opposite sex and each other in media, advertising, and beyond. It claims that this culture has mystified our morals so that young women compete to be the sexiest.Third-Wave Feminism, A Glossary of Terms You Need to Know, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Feminism, Misogyny, third-wave feminism, girl talk, Queer, Cis, Binary, Masculinity, Tumblr, Instagram, Social Media, Glossary, Internet Art, Androcentric, Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming, Benevolent Sexism, intersectionality, Raunch Culture, MGTOW, The Male Gaze, Non-Binary.

Mansplaining: the term refers to a condescending manner in which a man might explain something to a woman. An explanation often relayed in a patronizing and demeaning manner backing up a misogynistic, and prejudice against female knowledge.

Manterupting: the term refers to a male’s behavior to frequently interrupt a female counterpart while she speaks. This gender issue has been argued as being pseudo-science for being a cultural phenomena used by both males and females instead of a scientific gender bias.Third-Wave Feminism, A Glossary of Terms You Need to Know, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Feminism, Misogyny, third-wave feminism, girl talk, Queer, Cis, Binary, Masculinity, Tumblr, Instagram, Social Media, Glossary, Internet Art, Androcentric, Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming, Benevolent Sexism, intersectionality, Raunch Culture, MGTOW, The Male Gaze, Non-Binary.

MGTOW: also known as Men Going Their Own Way, this is a direct counter movement to the women’s movement that, in the organizations own words, “is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty…” This movement stands for men pushing back against what they feel a women’s culture has made of them. Among many things, they hold the belief that relationships with the opposite sex should be on their terms and based in sexual engagement only. They believe in “survival and mating” but not “marriage and children”. In clearest terms MGTOW holds the belief that the women’s movement represents manipulation of the opposite sex. In a MGTOW manifesto on Reddit one can find quotes like this: “Society has lied to us in ways that have been detrimental, without regard to our freedom of thought, or freedom of actions. For the sake of preservation of ourselves, we will not try and win a rigged game, try and change the game, or make it so that we are the ones who are rigging it. We are done with lies, and we are done with the games that people play. We get up, and we leave.” and also this: “I’m tired of dealing with selfish, stuck-up women. Even fat hippos think they are entitled to some super hot, successful hunk. And dating is bullshit! They expect you to pay for everything and get nothing in return.” But all that’s for another article in itself…

The Male Gaze: refers to the portrayal of women by men first in art and literature, and now modernly in media and advertising. It is often sexualized and objectified due to the heterosexual view. This goes hand in hand with the concept of “The Gaze” which is how individuals view the subject presented.

Misandry: the hatred of men.

Misogyny: the hatred of women.

Non-Binary: non-binary refers to an individual who does not identify with a single gender. They can feel that they blur the lines between what the stereotype of each gender is defined as. They can be both multi-gendered or feel neutral-gendered — not really identifying with either.

Post-Feminism: Post-feminism of 4th Wave Feminism is a muddied term in history but is most commonly known has a backlash against feminism. It is a movement that supports a non-gendered culture. Some supporters of Postfeminism believe we have already achieved the equality needed through first and second wave feminism, and that third-wave feminism is obsolete.

Post-Structuralist Feminists: stems from the theory of Post-Structuralism. Post-structural feminism goes hand in hand with intersectional feminism in its belief that it’s not as simple as women and men, there are many other elements at play in searching for equality. All of them must be identified in order to succeed.

Queer Theory: Queer Theory was an extension of the post-structuralist theory from the 90s’. It pushes back against the privilege that comes with being heterosexual, and studies the equality of all sexual orientations. In 1998 Professor Eve Kosofksy Sedgwick was quoted in The New York Times as “It’s about trying to understand different kinds of sexual desire and how the culture defines them.”

Third-Wave Feminism, A Glossary of Terms You Need to Know, NOW ON VERITE PUBLISHED --- Feminism, Misogyny, third-wave feminism, girl talk, Queer, Cis, Binary, Masculinity, Tumblr, Instagram, Social Media, Glossary, Internet Art, Androcentric, Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming, Benevolent Sexism, intersectionality, Raunch Culture, MGTOW, The Male Gaze, Non-Binary. Slut Shaming: the public shaming of an individual (usually female) for their sexual behavior.

Third-Wave Feminism: third wave feminism is the most modern string of the feminist movement. Birthing around the 1990s’ from the work of the first, and second waves. Third wave represents equality for race, social class, transgender rights, and creating a safe, equal environment for all. As a feminist one must be aware, and represent all aspects of women’s issues not just the ones that effect them. See Intersectional Feminism.

Toxic Masculinity: a social ideology that believes a stereotypical format of masculinity including machoism, violent tendencies, predatory.

Tumblr Feminism: originally used as a term to shame feminism, but soon adopted by the movement itself, this Millennial feminism school of thought was born on the scrolls of the site Tumblr. It represents a specific group of young feminists who choose to use the platform to share beliefs and art that can’t find a home on any other social outlet due to their strict code of conducts on content (specifically nudity). Tumblr feminism is often identified as overtly sexual, satirical content and sending the message that we as women will portray ourselves — and our sexuality — on our own terms.

Victim Feminism: cictim feminism is defined as women who do not take their movement, or actions into their own hands. They can be seen as a women’s group who chooses to feel victim in the shadow of male power, instead of working towards a common ground together. This can be seen in feminists throwing blame towards their male counterparts instead of engaging them in the movement for equality.

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Feng Shui For Dating: A Bedroom That Manifests Love.

Simply stated, the ancient art form of feng shui is two-fold: welcoming beautiful energy into your life, and making it feel at home. When you walk into a space and feel an immediate sense of reverence — that’s feng shui. It’s powerful. And it’s communicated thru the language of metaphor, with our homes as metaphors for our (love) lives. If walls could talk, what would they say about your dating life?  

As I continually refine my feng shui practice, subtlety reigns; more sensuality than suncatcher crystals. Chanel had it right when she declared, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take at least one thing off.” Apply this to interiors, for open space is vital when manifesting change. Fresh energy needs a place to rest. Single friends (or those looking to ramp up an existing relationship) contemplate on how much space you have in your life, and for the focus of this article, your bedroom. If you were a guest, would you feel comfortable? A potential partner needs to sense that you have space for them, in all ways.

I remember someone telling me to always sleep in your own guest room. Now that I’m dating again post-divorce, I lost the guest room but kept the adage, and apply it thru the lens of romance. When I invite a man over, I want him to relax, lounge and leisure with me, get grounded, and feel open enough to bare his soul. I set up my house to reinforce these desires. What are your relationship desires? As you apply the following steps, infuse your intentions into each action. In feng shui, the ‘cure’ and the intention work in delightful tandem.

How to use feng shui to activate your bedroom for dating in six easy steps:

  1. Place your bed in a power position.

‘Power position’ is a feng shui term for the most beneficial placement of a high-use piece of furniture. For a bed, a power position entails:

  •  a solid wall behind the headboard
  • space to enter the bed from either side
  • a clear view of the bedroom door, without being in line with the doorway

Basically, position yourself so that no one can sneak up behind you, and you can see who is coming into the room. Considering the energy flow in such a manner leads to a feeling of safety, which translates into peaceful sleep. I’ve seen many a single sleeping with their bed pressed up against a wall. I ask them: “How is your lover supposed to get in and out? Over your sleeping body?” Not very considerate.

BONUS: Think fresh sheets for fresh action. Treat yourself to a new set of linens (or even pillowcases) for better juju.  Red is the color of passion, purple of abundance and green of growth…

  1. Clean under your bed.

You are literally sleeping with anything you keep under your bed. Think about that. If you keep old shoes there, then you are sleeping with those shoes — and with all of the places they have walked, all of the dirt they have acquired. Tax records, sleeping with them. Winter clothes, sleeping with them. Whatever is under the bed becomes activated as a metaphor in your love life; likely not the threesome you fantasize about. Keep it clean and clear under the bed, for better sleep, sex and dreaming.

  1. Choose matching bedside tables.

Equality in relationship is a beautiful goal. Set the mood for this equality to be revealed with matching bedside tables. Yes, it can be that simple! The tables should fit the look and scale of your bed. If a lamp is on one, a matching lamp should be on the other. For singles, I like to stack the deck by placing something symbolic on a future partner’s table: an empty notebook for the adventures you will write together or a book of erotic poetry.  And how about your side? Every surface has the potential to be an incognito altar.  

BONUS: Minimize electronics (EMFs) beside the bed for healthier sleep. Charge your phone somewhere else at night.

  1. Remove mirrors that directly face the bed.

Mirrors bounce around energy and double what they reflect. Struggling with insomnia, nightmares or infidelity? Take down the mirror(s) facing your bed, or cover at night if removal is not an option. Go mirrorless for a more harmonious environment.

  1. Create room in your closet.

Okay, so your dream lover is chilling in bed, leaning against that solid wall and reading you erotic poetry: but where will they hang their hat? If dreamy weekends together sound nice, give your guy or gal a place to hang up a few items. Keep a handful of empty wooden hangers in your closet. I promise you will smile when you see these hangers, picturing the stylish mate en route to you.

BONUS: Do the same in your medicine cabinet.  

  1. To be in a couple, decorate in pairs.

Look around your room, art included, and look for themes. A few years back I kept meeting men with whom I would really connect, only to learn that they were in an open relationship. I checked out my house. Sets of three were abound, which makes sense as a single mama with two sons. I remedied and the pattern stopped. As Aristotle stated, “the chief forms of beauty are order and symmetry.” Symmetry is pleasing to the eye, as well as to the heart. Add life with a pair of plants. Hang a painting of union. Get creative and embed happy twosomes around your bedroom.

To close, try this exercise with me to uncover your ‘Love Corner.’ Walk thru the doorway of your bedroom and go to the back right corner. What do you find here? Very telling! Love on this zone and place something symbolic here, or better yet, two somethings. But more on this in Feng Shui & Dating, Part Two: The Love Corner, coming soon.

Meghan Wallace James is at the Spiritual Advisor in residence at VÉRITÉ.  She is pleased to offer VÉRITÉ readers a special rate for virtual feng shui consults.  Email Meghan at mwj@meghanwallacejames.com for more details!

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Femme Feed | Oprah Won The Golden Globe’s When She Shared Her Wish For Girls

FEMME FEED | AN INSTALLATION OF “OF THE MOMENT”
STORIES FOR GIRLS IN THE KNOW.
Oprah Won The Golden Globe’s When She Shared Her Wish For Girls.

 

The world’s eyes were trained on Hollywood tonight for the 2018 Golden Globe’s and not just for its usual tinsel town charades. A.K.A shit finally got real. With all that went on last year the industry feels like a kettle ready to boil over, and it seemed like the red carpet would be an appropriate place to do so. Leave it to Oprah however to bring tears to our eyes, inspiration to our hearts, and put a few big wigs in their places.

Oprah Winfrey was presented with the Cecil B Demille, an award that celebrates “outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment” (not to mention outstanding contributions to all of our personal morale over the years). She took her moment at the mich. to stand by those who bravely spoke out against sexual predators, and thank the press who gave them a platform to speak from.

She reminded us that is it the press’s “insatiable dedication to uncovering the truth that keeps us from turning a blind eye to corruption and injustice.”
This ignited something in us as we heard her familiar, motivating voice come through our screens. In a world of paralyzing current events, fake news, and Twitter rants, women have used what can often toxify our lives to free themselves.

With the recent appearance of the Time’s Up initiative on social media to send the message that abuse in the workplace will no longer be tolerated, we could feel a big win approaching for women of Hollywood, one better than a trophy no less. We couldn’t help but hope that a trickle down effect would ensue. Actresses from all races, places, and ages stood in solidarity and clad in all black to unite against the abuse of power that has plagued their industry and our reality for far too long. “This is not a moment, it’s a movement,” said Eva Longoria of the initiative. With the turn out tonight, it very much feels she is right.

“Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have.” Oprah went on to say. It resonates with us long after the lingering of her standing ovation — how proud we are of those in any industry, any situation who have found their voice and spoken their truth. After years of being molded and manipulated into sex symbols, shallow figures, and linear female stereotypes the women of Hollywood are finally taking back the microphone.  They  are setting the new standard for the girls who will follow. The impact the movie and TV industries have on the general public is no secret, but by addressing our suppression openly, and directly we can begin to act on change.

Vérité is the French word for truth, and here we promise to always share our truth’s with you, and be your platform if you are in need of telling your own story. Let’s not lose this momentum for a new day.

 

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Gift Guide: 19 Gems To Give The Girl Who Has Everything

Gift Guide: 19 Gems To Give The Girl Who Has Everything | VERITE WOMAN, Holiday Gift Guide, Glossier, Christmas, What to give, Gifts under $100, Gifts for her, Gifts for BFF, Palms, Books, Hanukah gifts, shop, sale, online shopping, kerastase, BNKR, CAMEO, Jewelry, What to buy your girlfriend for Christmas, bones and feathers, Lingerie, True & Co., Witch book, Skin Owl, Kusmi Tea.
The Vérité Woman Paloma Hoops

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, because we satisfyingly nailed our shopping lists, and everyone was getting what they wanted. Not only do we have a list of 19 gems to give the girl who has everything — but simultaneously  this year’s shopping won’t leave you broke AF come 2018. From the perfect picks for your worldly art-loving friend, to your secret-botanist BFF, and even a few things you might want to snag for yourself — Pink Himalayan Salt Shot Glasses for those tequila infused fêtes? Literally everyone needs those. This is us officially wishing you a very merry holiday.

Gift Guide: 19 Gems To Give The Girl Who Has Everything | VERITE WOMAN, Holiday Gift Guide, Glossier, Christmas, What to give, Gifts under $100, Gifts for her, Gifts for BFF, Palms, Books, Hanukah gifts, shop, sale, online shopping, kerastase, BNKR, CAMEO, Jewelry, What to buy your girlfriend for Christmas, bones and feathers, Lingerie, True & Co., Witch book, Skin Owl, Kusmi Tea, The Cartorialist, Lelo.

  1. The Cartorialist Leading Ladies Print
  2. LELO Flickering Touch Massage Candle – Vanilla & Creme de Cacao
  3. Bones & Feathers Collective Gold Drop Earrings
  4.  C/MEO COLLECTIVE Last Light Long Sleeve Dress
  5. Vérité Woman Les Courses Tote
  6. Kerastase Chronologiste Travel Set Scalp Treatment For All Hair Types

 

Gift Guide: 19 Gems To Give The Girl Who Has Everything | VERITE WOMAN, Holiday Gift Guide, Glossier, Christmas, What to give, Gifts under $100, Gifts for her, Gifts for BFF, Palms, Books, Hanukah gifts, shop, sale, online shopping, kerastase, BNKR, CAMEO, Jewelry, What to buy your girlfriend for Christmas, bones and feathers, Lingerie, True & Co., Witch book, Skin Owl, Kusmi Tea, The Cartorialist, Lelo.

7. Pink Himalayan Salt Shot Glasses | Best Salted Tequila Shot Glasses 100% Pure, 1.2 oz 3inch Carved Salt Rock Shooter Glasses 8 Pc Set
8. Witch: Unleashed. Untamed. Unapologetic.
9. Gift box for 3 mini tins – Tea Kusmi Tea

10. Cloud Paint Quad11. Hathaspace Marble Essential Oil Diffuser, 300ml Aromatherapy Scent Diffuser, Humidifier, & Air Purifier with Ultrasonic Cool Mist Technology, BPA-Free, 7 Color Adjustable Ambient LED Light (White)12. Martius: The Book of Palms
13. Malin + Goetz cannabis hand wash + votive set.

 

Gift Guide: 19 Gems To Give The Girl Who Has Everything | VERITE WOMAN, Holiday Gift Guide, Glossier, Christmas, What to give, Gifts under $100, Gifts for her, Gifts for BFF, Palms, Books, Hanukah gifts, shop, sale, online shopping, kerastase, BNKR, CAMEO, Jewelry, What to buy your girlfriend for Christmas, bones and feathers, Lingerie, True & Co., Witch book, Skin Owl, Kusmi Tea, The Cartorialist, Lelo.

14. The Cartorialist A Single Turtle Framed Print
15. Vérité Woman Paloma Hoops
16. Laneige Slumber Party ($38.00 Value) Set
17. 2018 GALLERY LEATHER Black Leather Standard Weekly Desk Planner (Size 8″ X 5.75″)

18. True & Co. True Everyday Bralette
19. Skin Owl Body + Selenite Crystal Illuminator 

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“I Was In An Open Relationship”

relationship, culture, advice, design, graphics, women, dating, tips, love
Two twenty-somethings lead us down the rabbit hole of what it is like to question the traditional structure of “The Relationship” in exchange for “The Open Relationship”. With the influx of modern literature touching on the subject, such as the popular Sex at Dawn, we are supported in making these decisions more than ever before. It may not be a setting you are likely to find on your Facebook, but this disclosed style of dating isn’t just the ferris wheel adverse to a significant other — these are true serious bonds, they just aren’t monogamous. Guess what, they are working.

Meet Laura, a 24 year old based in New York City. It all began on a long summer day at a dive bar where Laura met her boyfriend for the very first time. While hanging out with an attractive lesbian acquaintance, they spotted a guy across the room that rose interest in both of them. By the end of the night the three had caught on to a pretty strong bond, ending up spending the night together. This was Laura’s first threesome. The trio continued to hang out for about a month together but soon the other girl amicably left the trifecta, and the duo were left with a two year tie ahead of them.
“We were all having such a good time and the dynamic really worked well. There wasn’t any jealousy I think mostly because she’s a lesbian and he’s straight so I feel like in a weird way I was the corner stone. I’m kind of a jealous person in a reactionary way but I feel like that’s why it worked so well, I didn’t have anything to be jealous of.”
For about six months it was monogamous, but during a trip to Costa Rica they met another couple they really clicked with, and by the time they returned home this was a natural element in the relationship.
Jealousy didn’t resurface as they were consistently communicative about equally being attracted to people that came into their lives. “It was never a shady thing, we would never go behind each others backs or use people for sex. It was an admiration or a respect. We always did it together. It was about being totally honest with your feelings and each other,” Laura explains “…and so many conversations of fleshing things out.”
The two stayed together happily, until they finally decided to go their own way, however the multiple-partners played no part in the uncoupling.

“I think it worked so well because it started day one like that. I’ve always been interested in exploring different relationship models but with boyfriends before it never felt right, you already have this agreement and if you work outside the bounds of that it feels like ulterior motives in a way. It can’t just be like you want to bring someone in that you know, and make it about a sexual thing. It has to be that we are both independently attracted to this person, their personality — and they have to be respectful of you guys as a couple.”
relationship, culture, advice, design, graphics, women, dating, tips, love
On another coast, a seven year alliance took a different approach to shifting the boundaries of what was between them. Dores and her boyfriend, both 30, began long distance. Two years in he relocated to California to be with her. The move brought a dose of pressure for both, and she came to realize that he had been seeking intimacy outside of their accord. She focused in on the fact that as a human she too had attractions to others, and being raised in a European household wasn’t as stigmatized by the guidelines of the classic American family. Knowing that this didn’t have to be the end, they started looking into other forms of structuring, while maintaining their strong intellectual, loving bond. Through copious amounts of reading and research, they found solace in the decision to reorient.
“It made us very close for a long time, you’re super open, it makes you really know this person. We were very scared — it was kind of weird but not as weird as you would think. For me I didn’t need to know the details, for me it’s knowing if I ask I can be told, having no lies.”
relationship, culture, advice, design, graphics, women, dating, tips, love
She made it clear that jealousy didn’t come from the other women but the fact that he had more free time to pursue than she did. As they had promised each other, they soon talked it out, creating a balance.
“You get to see them in a different light when you’re in an open relationship. When you’re very close to somebody you aren’t as attracted to them, it almost becomes platonic, but if they are across the room talking to someone they become more attractive. In an open relationship it makes you see them the way other people see them.”
What she learned from the years that they chose to live with this format was that the first rule is there are no rules — once you hit a hurtle you must equilibrate together and move forward. Did they tell the people they were dating that they had a live-in person? He did, she usually didn’t. She realized very quickly that as soon as you tell someone that you’re just there to have sex, they won’t stick around for long. However, her boyfriend helped her to see that after a few dates it was only fair to the other person to unfold the information.
“It’s not the third person that pulls you out of a relationship, it’s you that leaves.” Soon enough they found that their independence was keeping them more apart than together, and decided to end the things to grow separately. Dores had also realized that she had grown feelings for someone that she had been dating and wanted to pursue that connection. The two have stayed extremely close in their breakup, which she says was ideal, and continue to push each other forward as friends.

It’s exhilarating to be apart of a generation that is brave enough to question the cultural architecture of how we delve into our partnerships. Ask yourselves why you choose to either be in an open or closed relationship. It’s not for everyone, but looking inward to find what is right for you and your S.O. is the most important part of beginning. For neither Laura nor Dores was this format the ending of their love, both running its course naturally. However, it’s honesty and communication are what made it successful. “It’s harder to be monogamous than to be in an open relationship.” Dores says in closing.

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